new lease on 'cross

Yesterday i went to the cross race in palmdale. I though nobody would be there, and the field was smaller, but it was not the smallest. I decided i was going to stay with the front group, come hell or high water. I did.

most of the races i have been doing, i sort of take a ticket and stand in line, and end up where i end up.

not this one. I raced my ass off. I picked off 2 riders, and i was literally 2 seconds behind 4th at the finish.

For the first time this season, i didnt settle in, and i raced. For the first time this season, i was really happy with my results. Plus i beat that dude that barely beat me at both the muckenthaller and oceanside. Like, i beat him like he owed me money. I wasn't gonna wait for the end for him to out run me this time.

what can i say? It felt good.

now i wanna race more.

a fair and accurate comparison...

my night light...



Trevor Walton's night light


trevor, if you're reading this, you will get my eye lesion doctor bills soon.

emmessjee

Notice the ingredients. See where it says "spices". I will bet cash money that MSG is the main "spice" in this wonderful soy log.

I think, on this the 10th anniversary of the vegan thanksgiving that we have been taking part of since the first one at my crappy apartment, i will be abstaining from all further vegan feasting.

pretty much in a general sort of way, vegan food wrecks me. Im not talking about nuts and berries and veggies and stuff. Im talking about fake vegan meat. I cant say for sure it has MSG in it, but i can say for sure that MSG also gives me the same symptoms, which include but are not limited to:

• itching
• fever
• paranoia
• hallucination
• logy-ness

Every time i go to a cheap all u can eat place or a vegan feast, i freak the eff out. Then in this case i was dozing off all the next day.

soy is satan.

this morning i gave thanks for bikes.

today was the first in what im sure will be a long standing tradition for me in the thanksgiving morning mtb ride.

It was so much fun.

Pictures were taken, but it may take me a while to round them up.

highlights include: Johnson beating the piss out of Sergio's wheel, Stell coffee and bagels at the trailhead, Riding with a bunch of people i have never ridden with, Johnson passing me at warp speed on the descent, chit chatting about leadville with adam and post ride chill sesh afterward.

bummed that sergio taco'd his wheel. Hopefully we can pull some warranty shenanigans.

Good clean fun despite how muddy i got.

"Beer me that new front wheel!!"

Every time (including the time i rode 75 miles) i have gone to a cross race, i have had an extra front wheel. Or at very least had one lined up to borrow from sombody in the wheel pit. I have not gotten a flat yet. Kind of. I did develop a slow leak of some type in my front wheel. Its a vittoria sew up on there.

Now, before you accuse me of name dropping, let me finish.

I had a little of the tufo brand tire sealant, which i assumed was sort of a universal slime/fix-a-flat type solution to my problems. It is not. John Rubcic must have also thought it was ok, because when i explained to him that the course of action i planned to take was to use said sealant on my slow leak ridden tire, he gave an affirmative, shouldnt-be-a-problem type of response.

Oh how wrong we both were.

Apparently, the stuff in the tufo sealant is made to galvanize butyl rubber, which is what most tubes are made of. not vittorias. Those are made of latex. Apparently does it not only NOT work on latex, it dissolves it.

Unfortunately the situation came to a head just like you think it might about 50 meters into my race, when my front end felt a little squishy, then promptly washed out in the very first hair pin turn. I yelled out a cuss or equally ignorant word of frustration (i can be very colorful when im pissed), reached down and pinched my tire, which was holding about 5 psi at this point.

What bummer man. Of course i had no wheel in the pit, and once i found lisa crowe and matt breyer, who were glad to hook me up with a new wheel, i was just PAST the wheel pit and would have had to do another painfully slow lap on my mavic reflex rim, laced masterfully with 16 guage double butted DT swiss spokes, to a high flange phil wood track hub*. I just took the dnf and chalked it up to Odin being angry with me for going to see wicked after the race. As well he should be.

*due to a contractual obligation, the above subject must also add that this blog post was brought to you by arrowhead orthopedic, dominoes pizza, Padgetts Service Team Of Proffesionals, and in no way reflects the quality of service or product offered by the fine people at Redlands/Riverside Cyclery USA.

the cycling illuminati...

i was informed on friday, by a P.E. teacher who will remain un-named (we'll call her Roy Birkson) that she was impressed (although by the look on her face i think she meant annoyed) by the group i had been on a ride with the previous evening. As to weather she might happen upon a future similar ride, she seemed even more annoyed and quickly disengaged from conversation.

Im not fast. If i was in the story of the tortoise and the hare, i would be a distant 3rd.

I have the bike handling skills of a cataract stricken, thumbless orangutan.

If i have an asset to my cycling game, i think its lasting power. I have no problem coming in 20th for the rest of my life as long as im having a good time.

However, if i can crack the code to this bicycle secret society, maybe, just maybe i will see some podium action before i cash my last check. Perhaps i can sneak my way onto future rides with the big dogs. I just have to convert my work ethic into speed somehow.

now that been said, i think i will be breaking my teeth on some mountain bike action in the forthcoming season. All that remains is:
decisions
decisions
decisions

madness has begun..

and tomorrow is only day 2 of 3...

14 hours between the salon and the bike shop.

selling bikes. Oof. You should hear the lies i tell these people. "oh yeah, that 6 thousand dollar bike is just what you need to get you back into shape... what are you 230? 240? that bike was practically custom made for you!"

Sold a sweet bike that i wanted for me right out the gate today. Half bummed half stoked. Sold 2 bikes to an ex-girlfriend that i hadent seen since i was like 220 lbs and drunk 25 hours out of the day. Her mom commented that "oh yeah i barely recognize you, you! You used to be a LOT bigger. Again half bummed half stoked. Sold a 5.2 madone to a dude that is a "hard core mountain biker" that had to get permission from his wife. Half bummed half stoked....once again.

pretty draining selling bikes when you are used to wrenching on them. Special guest appearances were made by coach d, neighbor matt, bad idea lisa, young phillip, ry-g, kathy-jo and her little dog too, haoi (no idea how to spell his name, therefore, no clever nickname), and the incomparable jason keller. Big ups to those people.

At the end i felt like i was on an acid trip, and to think i only have to do it 2 more days. Here's a little something to describe my mindset at the close of the day.

ssssslllloooooooowwwwww mmmmmmmooooottttiiiooonnnn

wheels of confusion. The last verse. That's what i felt like when i got done racing yesterday.

Slow.

I dunno if i will ever be fast.

Nobody cares but me. Nobody can change it but me. How do you get faster? Im just gonna go out and try harder. It seems like try harder should equal faster.



i wanna ride my bike today, but i have the feeling im going to be disappointed with even a trip down to the grocery store on the bike. Bummah. I'll tell you how it went a little later.

i just hope we dont run into no muslims...

on halloween i borrowed a little material from my favorite comedian of all time, richard pryor.

here's a little excerpt from both references.




im sure people thought i was racist, truth be told i really dont like the idea of a democrat running the country, but im psyched most of all on the fact he's black.

ug...

im sick

spooky times...

So Lisa Crowe and i spun the "wheel o' bad ideas" some time last week. It landed squarely on "ride 56 miles to your next cross race".

I know what you're thinking, "Geeze Steve, thats a bad idea..." and you're right. It wasn't bad bad enough for me and lisa's level of commitment. Fortunately Google Maps helped us out by routing us into a mountain. Not 'til we got to the top of the mountain, did we find out that our bad idea had indeed gotten worse. Did i mention i was on a singlespeed?

With google's assistance, it turned our little 56 mile bad idea into a nice, square 71 mile bad idea. Dont worry, those extra 15 miles were only mostly climb.

Its kind of creepy when you aren't sprinting, but you are going as fast as possible. Several times in the race i told myself "self, you're gonna finish last if you don't pick up the pace" and usually when this happens i put in a little dig and my speed ramps up, maybe only a little, but it ramps up. This time every time i went, "ok, GO!" my go had went. It was wierd.

In other spooky news, i have been cheating on a sponsor, and former employer, stell coffee and tea. I have been getting my morning fix at the olive market, which i had passed several times on the way to work, before i figured out it is sooooooo much more time condusive to stop there as opposed to stell. Its right on the way. I would say about half the time i see the same woman with an infant in a a stroller, and a 120 pount toddler with a pacifier in her mouth, clutching a chocolate bar, along with an assorment of lolipops. Perfectly normal considering its like 9:10 in the morning, or as i like to refer to it, "the infant introduction to diabetes" hour. Of course the overseer (presumably the mother) of this baby gorilla isn't the most svelt of her species, but hey, she dresses in athletic clothing, complete with a stroller made for jogging, and running shoes.

In my minds eye, i have:

• Knocked the mother out. Cold as a block of ice. One punch, an overhand right.
  
• Screamed at the people behind the counter "what the hell are you smiling about? And why are you selling this child candy bars at 9 in the morning? Are you taking crazy pills?"
• Exclaimed that she's a shoe in for the blue ribbon at the state fair.
• Told the little girl that daddy drinks to cope with mommy poisoning their children.
• Reported the mother to social services.

I don't know how much longer i can handle it. I could totally see myself in court and telling the jury "I dunno, some time after them coming in and before i put some milk in my burnt french roast, everything went black. But if you say i took a dump in the kids chocolate bar wrapper and made the mom drop it like an asprin, before i grabbed the baby and yelled 'come mit me if you vant to live...' im sure that's what happened..." And then seeing the jury shug and give each other the "i mean, what're you gonna do...." look. I've seen that crap on montel, but never in my own back yard. Insanity.

pics from "storm the beach"....

lisa gasping on an ill-placed run up.
in a sprint for the line she missed 4th by not even a second.
A sand pit on an actual beach. You don't see it often for a reason.
Matt Breyer killin it.
Matt Breyer carryin' it.
Matt Freeman riding up a part i probably could have done on my single speed had i chosen my gears a little wiser.

case in point, here's me running up the hill.....slowly.
Here's me carrying my bike up. That in and of itself is a small victory.
Here's me riding up. It took me 3 laps to get that line right.

southern california cyclocross...

... should adapt the phrase "you think last week was bad...? Oh man...." as their new catch phrase. Storm the beach was shot. They should name just that race "you're gonna need a new drive train." What a pisser. when the course wasnt destroying your bike, you were running in quicksand.

What's next? Wild mountain cats on the course? Mountain climbing w/ bike? Leeches in the mud pits? No lights at the next night race? That gets my vote.

pictures soon.

its my 100th post!

Big deal huh? Anyways, it looks like im headed for oceanside this weekend, armed with a piss load of spoke nipples for the go green racer bin. Hopefully also i will be armed with my new wheelset. Whats optimal pressure on sand? Freeman moves in today-ish. His bike will be set to go for suday. Saw to that yesterday. Did a huge long workout at ford park yesterday. That run-up is in-sane. Im so smoked when i put my bike down, the last time i tried to get on, i blanked on what i was doing mid jump and landed all cockeyed. It was kind of funny. I'm hoping i rally enough support to make an inland cyclocross race. It would be sweet. I could design such a bitchin course out there. The last 2 have been kinda not what i consider to be cross. Too much dirt. More mud, more grass, more cowbell. I got 2nd in the last race. It was a field of 3, but still. Also, i didnt finish too far behind the dude that won. Dude who put the race on a had a poor attitude, gave crappy shwag, and didnt even do a podium so i could post a picture on my blag. What a pisser.

Tonight we are having a meeting about clothing. Im voting for voler. Dot is a really nice gal, and she said she'd throw us a party! Anything has GOT to be better than that champsys stuff.

We got peg board up at work so i can hang all my tools proper, it looks sweet. I spray painted it black and everybody was bummed for the first hour.

i decided to name my bike. Sleipnir. Sweet. Sleipnir was odin's 8 legged horse. Also, it sounds cool.

a lot has happened.

Josh is a year older and has a new set of neck jewelry.

A.J. is also a year older and also has new neck jewelry.

Bigfoot: not dead (according to autobiography i have purchased)

Another cross race under the belt. Ate some shit, but i didnt redline completely. We'll have to fix both of those on the next race.

Loaned my shoes to a woman for her race. She refered to me as her savior. Probably due to my classic depiction of jesus-like beard.

Beard is gone. We cant have people calling me savior can we?

Coach D was out there racing. I wonder if she got any schwag for 5th...?

Helped short haired christy, who will now be dubbed bad back christy with a little sciatica, using my vast know-how on the subject.

Freeman is moving in next door to me. Like, literally. Hopefully i can make him welcome with some lemon-bars, or a tall boy of natty-ice.

thats about it. Can't wait for the next race. Probably oceanside, but i could probably be cajoled into palos verdes.

beardage...

this beard.... Ive been growing it for so damn long. Definitely longer than any other beard ive grown. I'm feeling like it has reached its cap though. I dunno if its gonna get any longer. I wish i could hold out like the dudes from team bearclaw, or that dude that rides for rapha. Mostly because i want to get sweet gear for free from rapha. If you are reading this and are in the position to offer free stuff in exchange for facial hair strength, holler at your boy, otherwise, i dont see going past haloween with it.

cross practice tonight...

kinda.

i think im going to go over to the baseball fields on mountain view in loma linda cuz according to the website 2 of them are lit. Im also going to bring a light for my bike seeing as last night it was pitch black at 6:50.

also, another lit grass update: There are 2 lit fields in yucaipa, and 2 in loma linda. We'll see how tonight works out.

Eff soccer

cross practice tonight turned into 1 & 1/2 hours of searching for a lit park.

here are our current options:

• change the night of the week, and find a night where they aren't playing soccer at crafton park. They play soccer there on wednesday nights.
  
• check out the situation on monday nights at texonia park. Every other night has soccer. i checked.
• see about access to the new redlands sport park, which is lit, and would be PERFECT, but is locked and looks as though it is reserved for (you guessed it) soccer.
• go outside redlands (gonna need a little help if thats the case, i put in my work chumps).
• continue at ford park.
  

Who the hell are all these soccer fanatics, and why do they use up so much lit grass?!?!


...lame.

cross racers do it on grass

yeah, when they cut the grass right before you get your ride in, it makes for slow going.

my bike is covered in grass.

pain

well, i did my first cross race of the season. funfunfun. I rolled with lisa crow who, is a filty filthy canadian, much like my wife. At least lisa doesn't speak french. Points for that (in related news: lisa rules and we had a good time going down there.)

Saw the shop's vitoria rep down there. That dude seems sweet. I think he reps AC and and twin 6 as well. Saw a few people from the clinic i went to. None of them seemed to remember me. I guess i sorta blend in with the whole beard and huge amount of tattoos.

when we toed the line, it became apparent i was going to get buried. I planned for that, so i quickly picked out people who i would shoot myself if i finished behind. Here's the list.

• Anybody who would qualify for clydesdale division were this a mtb race.
• Anybody with a beer jersey
• The dude with the black sabbath jersey ( although a good indication that he is probably the most solid dude in the group)

im happy to announce that not only did i finish in front of them, i finished in front of a national champion. Yes its true that he is the +65 national champion, but its also true that i made him my 65 year old bitch. (....winner ....winner ....winner.)

not to bad, did the amount of work i expected. now we go into phase II of my evil plan: Operation S.T.A.R.V. (starvation to achieve race vitories). There will be cause for concern when im done. If everything goes to plan i will have people approaching me to do an after-school special.

change of venue?!?

On the advice of super cyclist matt freeman, i may show up to crafton park on wednesday evening for cross practice, due to the fact that the lighting to fribee-chucking-lurk-nasties is currently at 1:0.

all in favor sound off and i will print up a long overdue flyer for the bike shop and local bike frequented areas.

Pro's- no disc toting bums, and its advertised as "lit" by the parks and rec department.
Con's- no run up, probably a lot less technical.

Say something now if you are at all interested in attending this and we'll make it happen.

please come to cyclocross practice...

i know its been lax for like a month. For a while we had a strong showing. Then i went to UBI and it all went to hell.

After last weeks report by matt, i decided to go anyway. Armed. With pepper spray. and a gun.

i also brought a makeshift barrier out of PVC.

i made a flyer wherein i stated that practice started at 6:30. its getting dark early, so i started at 6. I'm going to stay with that. Lord knows you dont want to be in the park after hours with.... those types.

if you have a cross bike. Show up. If i am captured by one of the frisbee-losers, its gonna be curtains. Strength in numbers people.

monday nights...

if you've got nothing to do, you should probably ride a bike with the hip crowd down at auggies on 5th.

Auggies is a cool little coffee shop that has a cool little ride that leaves at 10:30 on the aforementioned first night of the week. Good times were had by most, besides josh who felt he had to yell at everyone who wasnt following his ride protocol.

"establishment, establishment, you always know whats best..."

"you suck!"

"LEARN THE RULES"

maybe he should join health-net.

new whip

I want a track bike, but i dont live close enough to a track to justify it. getting into cross now, so mmmmmaaaaaayyyyyyybbbbbbbeeeeee a little single-speed action? could be good! Either way i can put some sweet hipster ass components on this one. Im thinking phil wood white hubs with black spokes and velocity deep v ti anodized rims? Tied and soldered? Why not!?!? Paul old-school canti's? Hell yes! Win lose or crash, i will have the sweetest looking bike out there.

this just in...

i dont hate bmx bikes. They actually seem like fun if you could hook up a track with sweet jumps and stuff. i just hate the little headset collar that enables you to do bar spins. The rotor. The gyro.



the bane of my existence.

you know its a pain in the ass when eddie goes "oh yeah, those things are a pain in the ass."

Im not building anymore BMX bikes. Ever if i can help it

first friday means

red asphalt!

it was a blast, but Im never leading the ride again.

"wow steve, were really hauling ass, i think we got into double digits a second ago. Wanna slow it down evel kneivel?"

2 seconds later

"uh steve, its getting like, kinda strung out, where are we going? are you going here? No wait, there? Where's mark going?"

2 seconds later

"we got a pretty good gap going man, you wanna freewheel a little slower?"

2 seconds later

"boy, i can see your fitness level is really ramped up dude, you've been doing threshold for like the entire ride, how can anybody keep up with you. You must annihilate people at races dude, were going like 4 mph and everybody is barely hanging on. Are you catching the sarcasm in my voice?"

but i have to say overall it was still fun. If you didnt make the scene you were probably either crying your eyes out, or paralyzed due to your lack of party-animalness.

peeps in my class

Zach from seattle. Sweet dude. Originally from the east coast, NY state i think. Took the train down, then rode his bike like 67 miles to get to the school with matt.



Matt from portland. Sweet dude. originally from someplace back east as well, but a really cool guy. Might ride down the west coast and hit me up when he gets here. Races cross and traded some racing tips with me. Had a total bromance with zach. Apparently they've been tight for a long while.



dennis from winter gardens florida. Nice enough guy, triathlete from florida. Didnt really get to know him all that well. He's opening a shop in florida. Good luck on that one man.



Mike, aka big tex. Dude is huge. Also is missing like half of his index finger from an ill fated fire-cracker incident. Nice enough guy, but always wanted a definite answer to questions that some times were totally a matter of preference. Classis big tex question: "so which one is faster?"



chad from...uh...kalamazoo...and the coast guard. Nicest dude in the place. Hands down. Definitely bailed me out like 3 times, and somehow got talked into driving for like 6 hours with terry, the biggest chatch in our class. Nice dudes always get stuck with the pisser work.

more...

chai catching sikk ass air



evershed unpacking his so carefully packed frame




the worlds most dangerous bicycle, chai's giant tcr, which has been raced on for 2 season with a crack where the head tube and down tube and top tube meet. Jeff, one of the instrucors who used to be manager of product development for giant, talked about the bike and how it was going to like, explode and tear a hole in the space-time continuum if it was ridden any longer.



bike tetris



more bike tetris

more...

one of the framebuilders rigs, i think jon or aubrey..



evershed, chai, and chad, talking me into going mountain biking



words cannot describe how horribly i handle a mountain bike, let alone a gnarly 7" travel boat. This is a bad idea.




chai, former partial owner of godspeed messenger in SF in denial about the thorn in his tire. We had an intervention later and after that it was smooth sailing.




evershed catching some sikk ass air.....bro.

more...

chad truing a wheel



aubrey, tanner, and others hangin out in front of the commons. At this point in time there is a middle aged woman in the ashland area freaking out that there are nogoodniks drinking in front of her poor mans bed and breakfast.



jon "don't call me camera" kamera



evershed at the creekside pizza joint



profile of taylor and his sweet ass curly locks.

UBI fiesta pictoral

went and saw a movie about hunter s thompson, probably the greatest american ever.


me and the frame builders went out for mexican at the BAD place up he street. We locked our bikes up. Here's the proof.



evershed and i taking myspace pics. Mine came out awesome. It was just my fabulous body with a flash for a head.




team redlands colorscheme lugged steel



much toolage.

SSSSIIIIIIIIIIIKKKKKK

I wend downhill mountain biking on a tank of a bike yesterday from the top of mount ashland.

it was gnarly hairy sikkkk bro good times.

Pics when i get back.

I thought i was dead...

Turns out i was in ashland.

I got:

• new friends
• lots of tools
• new know how
• a bunch of pictures (more of those when im more e-quipped)
• good coffee
• new bar tape
• new found respect for steel
• clean lungs
• good rides
• a sweet ubi wool jersey

thats all for now i guess. A BUNCH of pictures on their way. Want a frame? Start lining up now bitches, cuz im gonna learn how to build 'em. Also, i'll be considering names for my new company. So far as far as ive gotten is cobrelaphant cycles....

my new training plan...

is working out nicely.

i think it might work out well with my new work schedule/commute as well

school starts aug. 17th. Get your bike worked on by a legitmajit certamafied mechanic on august 31st.

war of attrition

Today i had a good session of suffering. Only 2 hours, but it was a gnarly two. Plus i charted some new territory. Did the wabash climb where they held the classic tt this year. What a bastard that was. I recently added the greenspot loop to my arsenal of rides that i should be doing but hadn't done yet. Im ready to go out and barf again tomorrow with the group. Hopefuly it will turn out like last week. That ride was awesome.

I listen to a lot of metal. I realize that this is a funny thing for a grown man to own up to. Especially the stuff i listen to. I concede that its totally over the top and juvenile, but its what i like. There are certain songs that for me make the suffering not so bad. Flight of icarus is amazing for climbing on hot days like today. Totally sweet.

cyclocross....ever heard of it?

Let me just say, those who showed up to cross practice this week know it was intense...

nobody showed up to cross practice this week. Its cool, the word hasn't really gotten out yet. Also, i flatted in about 10 minutes. 10 minutes of dusty, mouth-breathing, agonizing hell. i decimated the field of frisbee-golf frat dudes and estranged, scared children by a full 10 minutes.

I had flatted earlier this week, so i was fresh out of tubes, and i have yet to outfit my rig with a seat bag. All of these problems will NOT be a part of next weeks practice, so be there, cuz after deliberation with short-haired christy and trevor, the course is every bit as sweet as i conjectured. Also, things to look forward to next week are as follows:

• little orange flags that im gonna set up the course with.
  
• more cheaply made barriers.
  
• more people...?
• Watching yours truly eat complete and total crap trying to execute a flying re-mount.

Walking home from ford park was a little embarrassing, so when i hit cajon i coasted down on the grass. I figured that would be pretty trauma free on both me and the rim of my wheel. My ego was not as easily spared.

Whats funnier than a dude in full lycra walking his bike down a sidewalk? A fully tattooed guy in full lycra walking his bike down a sidewalk.

Whats funnier than a fully tattooed guy in full lycra walking his bike down a sidewalk? Nothing.