Tuesday, May 31, 2011

lyrics tuesday: Kylesa - Natures Predators

Streets lined with blood
Sleep no longer rests
Try to tune it out
This is no love generation
This is the town I live in
It is an American tension
Nature's predators live through death
Your neighbor killed big brother
Dim away the world
Whitewashed away
Waking symbols rest
Human interest repressed
We are not victims
We are someone's enemy
We all have to blame someone
Because fault is never personal
This is the town I live in
It is an American tension
Nature's predators live through death
Your neighbor killed big brother

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Lyrics tuesday: Tom Waits- Table Top Joe

This song is insane. If I understand it correctly it's about a dude born with a head, a pair of arms, and that's it. That's a pretty disturbing mental image, but despite that, it always seems to put a smile on my face.

I knew one day
One, one, two, one, two, three
Well my mama didn’t want me
On the day I was born
I was born without a body
I got nothing but scorn
But I always loved music
All I had was my hands
I dreamed I'd be famous
And I’d work at The Sands
Singing, Tabletop Joe, Tabletop Joe
Now everyone will know
That I'm Tabletop Joe
I had trouble with the pedals
But I had a strong left hand
And I could play Stravinsky
On a baby grand
I said, ‘I’m gonna join the circus
Cause that’s where I belong’
So I went to Coney Island
I was singing this song
Tabletop Joe, Tabletop Joe
Now everyone knows
Yeah I'm Tabletop Joe
They gave me top billing
In the Dreamland show
I had my own orchestra
Starring Tabletop Joe
And the man without a body
Proved everyone wrong
I was rich and I was famous
I was where I belonged, yeah
Tabletop Joe, Tabletop Joe
Now everyone knows, yeah
Tabletop Joe

Monday, May 23, 2011

Crit violence

From what I gather there was a little of this going on at crit on Thursday.

This Thursday had been the first in a little while I didn't show up to, despite the fact that I enjoy crits about as much as I enjoy paper cuts on my frenulum, and wouldnt you know this goes on without me. Now based on the responses I've seen I would say that the uniform consensus view is that violence is abhorrent and is savage and a poor way to solve problems. Those who know me will probably not be surprised when I say that my opinion is, violence is abhorrent, savage and unfortunately sometimes it's the best way solve problems. Look, I've been in my fare share of violent altercations, and I can not think of one that didn't settle things once and for all after, as long as it was a one on one situation. I will say I think it's super funny that all these people are surprised and shocked and appalled that this kind of violence could happen at what is commonly referred to as a gentleman's sport. They're like those people that are neighbors with the dude that climbs up a clock tower and shoots 15 people; "I never would have thought he was capable of that...". Let me be the first to say, I saw it coming a long ways off. The one thing that I could see that goes well out of this would be, maybe people will take riding a fucking bike in a circle a little less serious.

One person who witnessed the account said that one guy, we'll call him Derrick, was tired of the other guy, we'll call him random duchebag and his overly aggressive tactics, and when random duchebag had forced Derrick into the gutter one time to many, words we're exchanged that led to the two of them dismounting. If this is in fact how it went down, let me just make my position on the matter clear: it is at this point you have agreed to non-diplomatic conflict resolution. We're no longer talking about bike racing. Now I can't think of anything more pathetic that 2 dudes duking it out in full spandex and in (it gives me idiot shivers at how ill equipped they are) cycling shoes. I don't care if one dude slipped getting off the bike, I don't care if one dude slipped throwing a punch, I don't care if they both made out like cooped up dogs in heat. When you stopped the bike, you agreed to non diplomatic conflict resolution. We're not talking about bike racing any more. If you prefer diplomacy or bike racing when somebody keeps putting you into the curb, you sit in and sit up until after the last lap and you have a conversation like the peaceful civilized asshole everybody has come to know and love. When you decide you are going to let your inner primate take over, you better jump the fuck in with both feet.

Don't get fooled into thinking I've won every fight I've been in. I've gotten housed lotsa times. Lots. But after it's over I collect my dignity and what's left of my teeth and I go the fuck home. What I don't do is call the police and snitch. A snitch is far lower in my opinion than somebody who settles things with his fists.

Now, conversely, if I hit a dude and he hits the ground, the fights over. That's it. Done. If you kick a dude while he's down or you punch a dude on the ground, you're either embarrassed because you didn't knock him out cold (you punch like a rank amateur or you did it wearing cycling shoes) or you're a bully. Now, on my echelon of scum, I place bully just below snitch making him the lowest of the low. Nothing is lower than a bully.

And finally, if I'm a victim of bullying I would hope my friends, even the ones that dress in superhero outfits and helmets and sunglasses that make them look like robot dinosaurs, would step in and peel that piece of shit off me so we can peel off our outrageously expensive yet good for nothing but riding bikes shoes and handle things like men sometimes do.

Without further ado I'll let Michael Madsen say it better than I ever could:

"You kids shouldn't play so rough. Somebody's gonna start crying..."

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Lyrics Tuesday: Yob-Burning the Altar

special "let's hope your on pills or something" edition of lyrics tuesday...

Burning eyes brim with tears
Heavy heart clenched like a fist
Grasping hope with hands in flames
Burning ashes
Burning to the core

Wretched fools suffer fate
In worlds that they made
Sand slipping through fingers
Wisdom in decay

Burning the altar
Ashes billow across the sky
Burning the altar
Burning the altar

The ignorant rule the weak
With iron law and wrathful deeds
Eyes within eyes
All seeing
All mass delusion
Trumpets to the fall

Hollow psalms
The drums of war
Beating the stretched skin of the fallen
Redirect the vision within now
While the world ends

Monday, May 16, 2011

The hardest part...

I have purchased 2 custom bicycle frames in my relatively short time of post-cycle evolutionary re-invention. My first bike was a waltworks road bike, and it was (is) awesome. Anybody who has a 10 minute convo with me about bikes knows I prefer steel. It rules as far as longevity. If you pity my choice of a weighty material, I pity your buying into slavery to commercial ridiculousness. At any rate, I coasted about 8 feet post initial build on that bike, and I would imagine I had a look on my face similar to the one Soren made when I snuck him a fingertip of maple syrup for the first time. My mind, like his was freaking blown. I never looked back after that. I worked for specialized in a small capacity last summer just as I'll be doing this summer as a wrench at their dealer event. I was drawn in by the concept of a shiny new hardtail, hanging up my full suspension xc bike days, via a deal from specialized inside sales rep and rat tail sporting all in all Latin bike pimp Juan Diaz. I rode it about a month before I wanted to trade it for a steel bike with a non spaceship geometry and a slightly more sensible fork. At that time walt was clocking a close to 7 month waiting period for a frame, and I wanted to try my hand with someone else's skillz. Enter this dude:

well maybe not him exactly, but in my, and the high holy priest of misery's opinion, he's the custom bike version. Opinionated, skilled, absent minded and in a class by himself: Paul Sadoff. I sold my s-works frame and forwarded said funds to rock lobster custom bikes. On groundhogs day I began talks with Paul. I was immediately excited about him building my new whip. He asked where I was from and told me "oh yeah, Redlands...I used to drive thru there on my way to do drugs...". I was pumped. Wait time was a major factor, as the 5.5 months I had to wait for my waltworks was enough to piss off the good humor man. I dunno how people handle richard sachs and people like him who have some insane 6 year waiting period. When he called to finalize the design work I would have to have a 30 minute "where the fuck do you get off..." conversation before I could possibly move onto seat tube angles. At any rate, Paul told me it was 3 or 4 months with an outside possibility of slightly more. He said he's never had a wait of more than 6 months, and is somewhat far from his record as far as amount of orders written. Also, he somewhat begrudgingly built a bar/stem for me that would match the bike, which is a request I have a feeling walt would have outrightly denied. With walt, he would just say "i dont do that." to my rediculous requests, and i got a great frame because of it. He wouldn't entertain my sophomoric first custom experience. With paul, he would say "uuuuuuuh...." to my far less rediculous requests, and with a small amount of cajoling, i got a little more customized experience, without painting myself into a corner with some wierd fad mod that would ruin the longevity of the frame.

I would say that the waiting is truly the hardest part, as stated by some no talent ass-clown, who shared the stage with Roy Orbison from time to time. The wait with waltworks was made worse by a "watched pot never boils" waiting list that he posts online. The wait with my rock lobster was made worse by the fact that he had my frame completed in 3.25 months, bar/stem completed in 3.75 (photo evidence of these items was the worst) and now at 4.25 months the frame and cockpit are floating in a purgatory sea of powdercoating/shipping. It's my fault for being such a cantankerous impatient asshole that the wait is making me sprout a tumor, but ive been riding my full squish doom carriage for the last 3 months exclusively, and while that bike is fun, I'm ready for something a little more nimble and, most importantly, made especially for me so I feel like the Lords unique and special snowflake, except, you know, on a bike.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

lyrics tuesday- Acid King 2-Wheeled nation

its bike month. Enjoy.

Ride away from falling ground
Ride away from the big black cloud
Ride away until the day comes
That we all live in a 2 wheel nation

Ride away from noise and sound
Ride away from the life that's now
Ride away until the day comes
That we all live in a 2 wheel nation

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Lyrics Tuesday- SSD: Boiling Point

I think i am going to try and do a weekly thing on this here blog. I am going to post lyrics to a song that has been re-accuring in my mind over the last week. Sometimes i will have profound meanings behind these lyrics, and sometimes it will just be something that has been running thru my head non-stop. I think this is more of the latter than the former.

I've kept it bottled up for years
Instead of fighting or shedding tears
Now it's time to let go
My boiling point's about to show
I don't know if I'll lose control
Of my mind, my body, or soul
Boiling Point
Boiling Over
Boiling Point
Now it's over