Tuesday, March 18, 2008

climbing sucks, brain farting, cookie ghost limb, and lurk mcgurk

did a little sign-posting with the blog today to go over my points on this fine day.

issue #1 climbing sucks

i really dont have any problem doing it as it is a necessary evil, or the fact that you cant be a winner in a stage rage without being able to do it, and i would say that im really not even that bad AT it, however all of these facts dont take away the fact that it sucks, you go slow doing it, and i hate it.

issue #2 brain farting

i hate this term for a couple of reasons. If you use this phrase you are probably just looking for an excuse to say the word fart. LAME. If you wanna use the word fart, just let it flow. You dont have to come up with a phrase that doesnt make sense just to use it. which brings me to reason number 2 i dont like it. It doesnt make sense. When you fart, you are expelling gas that builds up in your stomach and blowing it out of your ass as a waste product. When people say "oops, had a brain fart right there...." its usually because they are at a loss for words; they lost their train of thought. The term would make a lot more sense if in the middle of a sentance that makes sense, you throw in a phrase that doesn't jive. Oh the irony, since saying brain fart makes no sense.

issue #3 cookie ghost limb
ashley, who rules, is helping me with dietary issues im having; mainly im not sure im eating right and want her to confirm it for me, and want to get more energy out of my diety. She's having me write down what i eat, and send it to her on friday. Dude, i eat a freaking cookie every day. Blew my mind now that im realizing it, but more than anything now that i am denying myself this treat tonight, i have found that there is like, a cookie shaped hole in my soul! Its like crack. I need it.

issue #4 lurk McGurk
jody, a coffee shop patron, seems to always be there. reason he comes up is, he has appeared in the blogs of a few others of note such as matt freeman and coach joy. he sits and minds his own business 90 percent of the time, reading the paper. 10 percent of the time, when a fine looking female walks up, he will lower his paper, stare for a bit, and as she approaches he will say "ey...". As far as brains goes, im pretty sure he's a few frys short of a happy meal, and as far as game goes he has very little to speak of, he plays the odds like a casino rat who scrounges for change outside a reno casino, as soon as he gets a quarter, he rushes in to put it in a one arm bandit to try his luck. Most times he busts (girl just walks on) sometimes he gets what he puts in (girl will acknowledge or say "ey" back) and every now and again, once in a blue moon, BLAM, jody hits the jackpot and will maybe get some didgets or heaven forbid some action. Im not saying what he does is cool, cuz its the FIRST thing i have to talk about to any new hair client i get from a coffee shop referral, which is a pain in the ass. I'm just trying to explain, that jody embodies the phrase "The sun will even shine on a dogs ass every now and again". As sad as i think that is, it is what it is, and jody seems to be A: ok with it, and B: incapable of the type of intelligence it would require to step his game up to the next eschelon. He's like an english bulldog. Depicted as dangerous, but in actuality to retarted to harm a fly.

i think this is my longest post to date, so i guess i will leave you drooling for future posts as long and intriguing as this one.

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