A is for annihilated. As in, i got annihilated on the tuesday night loop. B is for barf, as in i barfed on the second lap. I could keep going but im sure you get the picture.
I wish i was more like chopper read.
Its my future...im seeing.... more tattoos. 40 extra pounds. Me cutting my ears off. Me with a rippin' mustache. So sweet.
CREATURE OF THE WHEEL... LORD OF INFERNAL ENGINES...
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
2 of my faves.....
although ypu get some pretty interesting items when you search for mastrubating bear
coach sez i can have a six pack!!!
If i would just "come out of the closet" (her words). So im going to go ahead and start doing pilates. Looking forward to getting treated like a peace pipe and royally SmOkEd tomorrow night. We'll see how long i can hang on...
Saturday, March 22, 2008
f you know a chiroprctor with a size XXL rabobank kit...
stay the hell away.
i saw a gnarly crash today. An 85 pound woman got a flat, possibly hit a pothole and went over the bars. Im 100 percent sure she got a flat, and the fruit in the rabobank uniform was saying she hit a pothole, which makes me think she didnt. He proceded to pick her up by the effing armpits and drag her out of the road. Trish who is a physician rode up with me, after i had passed her trying to steer clear of her crash. The dude identified himself as a doctor, and told trish to back off and started monkeying with her neck (after he picked he unconscious body up by the armpits and her neck was flopping around limp). Mark Love identified himself as a rehab guy after the dude asked for his credentials, then when Mark asks him for the same he said "Uh, theres no need to provide you with that info..." Dude was crazy. I honestly hope i never see him in the group again, because he was straight up nuts. No chiropractor i know would pick a woman up after possible spinal injury like that. Not a one. i thought trish was gonna punch him. I thought i was gonna have to choke him out. If mark loses his temper, you know the dude is screwing up. I didnt even know mark could lose his temper.
p.s. im still slow. I was definitely about to implode when that poor woman went down. I hope she's ok.
i saw a gnarly crash today. An 85 pound woman got a flat, possibly hit a pothole and went over the bars. Im 100 percent sure she got a flat, and the fruit in the rabobank uniform was saying she hit a pothole, which makes me think she didnt. He proceded to pick her up by the effing armpits and drag her out of the road. Trish who is a physician rode up with me, after i had passed her trying to steer clear of her crash. The dude identified himself as a doctor, and told trish to back off and started monkeying with her neck (after he picked he unconscious body up by the armpits and her neck was flopping around limp). Mark Love identified himself as a rehab guy after the dude asked for his credentials, then when Mark asks him for the same he said "Uh, theres no need to provide you with that info..." Dude was crazy. I honestly hope i never see him in the group again, because he was straight up nuts. No chiropractor i know would pick a woman up after possible spinal injury like that. Not a one. i thought trish was gonna punch him. I thought i was gonna have to choke him out. If mark loses his temper, you know the dude is screwing up. I didnt even know mark could lose his temper.
p.s. im still slow. I was definitely about to implode when that poor woman went down. I hope she's ok.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
vent
so here goes.
here's a few questions that need to be answered honestly...
why do i get dropped constantly? Because i suck.
why do i call riding a bike training, when im not fucking training for anything because i suck? Because i have an awesome sense of humor...?
Why would i want to pay money every weekend to get spit out the back or a race and laughed at? i dont know.
who am i fooling? Nobody.
i am slow. Im not getting any faster. Im not going to get any faster. The sooner i swallow that pill, the happier i will be.
why am i so frustrated? I just need to take a deep breath and realize what my place in line is. WAY at the back..... off the back.... screaming at the back huffing and puffing, begging the line to slow down.
what the fuck is wrong with me?
i seriously think im that guy. I am. Im the guy that buys a bike to try an prove to himself that he's not getting slow in his old age. I can believe it, but im THAT GUY.
un real.
here's a few questions that need to be answered honestly...
why do i get dropped constantly? Because i suck.
why do i call riding a bike training, when im not fucking training for anything because i suck? Because i have an awesome sense of humor...?
Why would i want to pay money every weekend to get spit out the back or a race and laughed at? i dont know.
who am i fooling? Nobody.
i am slow. Im not getting any faster. Im not going to get any faster. The sooner i swallow that pill, the happier i will be.
why am i so frustrated? I just need to take a deep breath and realize what my place in line is. WAY at the back..... off the back.... screaming at the back huffing and puffing, begging the line to slow down.
what the fuck is wrong with me?
i seriously think im that guy. I am. Im the guy that buys a bike to try an prove to himself that he's not getting slow in his old age. I can believe it, but im THAT GUY.
un real.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
climbing sucks, brain farting, cookie ghost limb, and lurk mcgurk
did a little sign-posting with the blog today to go over my points on this fine day.
issue #1 climbing sucks
i really dont have any problem doing it as it is a necessary evil, or the fact that you cant be a winner in a stage rage without being able to do it, and i would say that im really not even that bad AT it, however all of these facts dont take away the fact that it sucks, you go slow doing it, and i hate it.
issue #2 brain farting
i hate this term for a couple of reasons. If you use this phrase you are probably just looking for an excuse to say the word fart. LAME. If you wanna use the word fart, just let it flow. You dont have to come up with a phrase that doesnt make sense just to use it. which brings me to reason number 2 i dont like it. It doesnt make sense. When you fart, you are expelling gas that builds up in your stomach and blowing it out of your ass as a waste product. When people say "oops, had a brain fart right there...." its usually because they are at a loss for words; they lost their train of thought. The term would make a lot more sense if in the middle of a sentance that makes sense, you throw in a phrase that doesn't jive. Oh the irony, since saying brain fart makes no sense.
issue #3 cookie ghost limb
ashley, who rules, is helping me with dietary issues im having; mainly im not sure im eating right and want her to confirm it for me, and want to get more energy out of my diety. She's having me write down what i eat, and send it to her on friday. Dude, i eat a freaking cookie every day. Blew my mind now that im realizing it, but more than anything now that i am denying myself this treat tonight, i have found that there is like, a cookie shaped hole in my soul! Its like crack. I need it.
issue #4 lurk McGurk
jody, a coffee shop patron, seems to always be there. reason he comes up is, he has appeared in the blogs of a few others of note such as matt freeman and coach joy. he sits and minds his own business 90 percent of the time, reading the paper. 10 percent of the time, when a fine looking female walks up, he will lower his paper, stare for a bit, and as she approaches he will say "ey...". As far as brains goes, im pretty sure he's a few frys short of a happy meal, and as far as game goes he has very little to speak of, he plays the odds like a casino rat who scrounges for change outside a reno casino, as soon as he gets a quarter, he rushes in to put it in a one arm bandit to try his luck. Most times he busts (girl just walks on) sometimes he gets what he puts in (girl will acknowledge or say "ey" back) and every now and again, once in a blue moon, BLAM, jody hits the jackpot and will maybe get some didgets or heaven forbid some action. Im not saying what he does is cool, cuz its the FIRST thing i have to talk about to any new hair client i get from a coffee shop referral, which is a pain in the ass. I'm just trying to explain, that jody embodies the phrase "The sun will even shine on a dogs ass every now and again". As sad as i think that is, it is what it is, and jody seems to be A: ok with it, and B: incapable of the type of intelligence it would require to step his game up to the next eschelon. He's like an english bulldog. Depicted as dangerous, but in actuality to retarted to harm a fly.
i think this is my longest post to date, so i guess i will leave you drooling for future posts as long and intriguing as this one.
issue #1 climbing sucks
i really dont have any problem doing it as it is a necessary evil, or the fact that you cant be a winner in a stage rage without being able to do it, and i would say that im really not even that bad AT it, however all of these facts dont take away the fact that it sucks, you go slow doing it, and i hate it.
issue #2 brain farting
i hate this term for a couple of reasons. If you use this phrase you are probably just looking for an excuse to say the word fart. LAME. If you wanna use the word fart, just let it flow. You dont have to come up with a phrase that doesnt make sense just to use it. which brings me to reason number 2 i dont like it. It doesnt make sense. When you fart, you are expelling gas that builds up in your stomach and blowing it out of your ass as a waste product. When people say "oops, had a brain fart right there...." its usually because they are at a loss for words; they lost their train of thought. The term would make a lot more sense if in the middle of a sentance that makes sense, you throw in a phrase that doesn't jive. Oh the irony, since saying brain fart makes no sense.
issue #3 cookie ghost limb
ashley, who rules, is helping me with dietary issues im having; mainly im not sure im eating right and want her to confirm it for me, and want to get more energy out of my diety. She's having me write down what i eat, and send it to her on friday. Dude, i eat a freaking cookie every day. Blew my mind now that im realizing it, but more than anything now that i am denying myself this treat tonight, i have found that there is like, a cookie shaped hole in my soul! Its like crack. I need it.
issue #4 lurk McGurk
jody, a coffee shop patron, seems to always be there. reason he comes up is, he has appeared in the blogs of a few others of note such as matt freeman and coach joy. he sits and minds his own business 90 percent of the time, reading the paper. 10 percent of the time, when a fine looking female walks up, he will lower his paper, stare for a bit, and as she approaches he will say "ey...". As far as brains goes, im pretty sure he's a few frys short of a happy meal, and as far as game goes he has very little to speak of, he plays the odds like a casino rat who scrounges for change outside a reno casino, as soon as he gets a quarter, he rushes in to put it in a one arm bandit to try his luck. Most times he busts (girl just walks on) sometimes he gets what he puts in (girl will acknowledge or say "ey" back) and every now and again, once in a blue moon, BLAM, jody hits the jackpot and will maybe get some didgets or heaven forbid some action. Im not saying what he does is cool, cuz its the FIRST thing i have to talk about to any new hair client i get from a coffee shop referral, which is a pain in the ass. I'm just trying to explain, that jody embodies the phrase "The sun will even shine on a dogs ass every now and again". As sad as i think that is, it is what it is, and jody seems to be A: ok with it, and B: incapable of the type of intelligence it would require to step his game up to the next eschelon. He's like an english bulldog. Depicted as dangerous, but in actuality to retarted to harm a fly.
i think this is my longest post to date, so i guess i will leave you drooling for future posts as long and intriguing as this one.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Thursday, March 13, 2008
eff a crit.
the bummer about it is, i really dont feel like i was getting my face screwed into the ground, as long as i stayed in the group, and m=by in the grou, i mean off the back. I just dont have the nerve to get up into the shit. I suppose it will come, but it scares the piss out of me right now.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
uuuuugh
i am NOT in racing shape. I got spit out the back like 9 times today. I just didnt have it. I didnt feel good leaving the coffee shop, i didnt feel good leaving the bike shop, i didnt feel good on victoria, i didnt feel good on the way back. I just plain dont feel good. To top it off i have a bunch of hair to do today, the afterward, i think im gonna go get some greens and go to freaking sleep. Im not ready to race in 2 weeks. Im not sure i will be ready in 2 months. Im not sure if i will be ok by cyclocross season based on how i felt today. Maybe i need like, dope or somthing.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
sunset
sometimes i forget that the sunset loop is as hard as it is. Sometimes i hate climbing. Alright, i always hate climbing.
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