ON MERCURY'S WHEEL

lyrics tuesday: Kylesa - Natures Predators

2011-05-31T23:36:00.000-07:00

Streets lined with blood
Sleep no longer rests
Try to tune it out
This is no love generation
This is the town I live in
It is an American tension
Nature's predators live through death
Your neighbor killed big brother
Dim away the world
Whitewashed away
Waking symbols rest
Human interest repressed
We are not victims
We are someone's enemy
We all have to blame someone
Because fault is never personal
This is the town I live in
It is an American tension
Nature's predators live through death
Your neighbor killed big brother

Lyrics tuesday: Tom Waits- Table Top Joe

2011-05-24T20:52:00.000-07:00

This song is insane. If I understand it correctly it's about a dude born with a head, a pair of arms, and that's it. That's a pretty disturbing mental image, but despite that, it always seems to put a smile on my face.

I knew one day
One, one, two, one, two, three
Well my mama didn’t want me
On the day I was born
I was born without a body
I got nothing but scorn
But I always loved music
All I had was my hands
I dreamed I'd be famous
And I’d work at The Sands
Singing, Tabletop Joe, Tabletop Joe
Now everyone will know
That I'm Tabletop Joe
I had trouble with the pedals
But I had a strong left hand
And I could play Stravinsky
On a baby grand
I said, ‘I’m gonna join the circus
Cause that’s where I belong’
So I went to Coney Island
I was singing this song
Tabletop Joe, Tabletop Joe
Now everyone knows
Yeah I'm Tabletop Joe
They gave me top billing
In the Dreamland show
I had my own orchestra
Starring Tabletop Joe
And the man without a body
Proved everyone wrong
I was rich and I was famous
I was where I belonged, yeah
Tabletop Joe, Tabletop Joe
Now everyone knows, yeah
Tabletop Joe

Crit violence

2011-05-23T20:34:00.000-07:00

From what I gather there was a little of this going on at crit on Thursday.

This Thursday had been the first in a little while I didn't show up to, despite the fact that I enjoy crits about as much as I enjoy paper cuts on my frenulum, and wouldnt you know this goes on without me. Now based on the responses I've seen I would say that the uniform consensus view is that violence is abhorrent and is savage and a poor way to solve problems. Those who know me will probably not be surprised when I say that my opinion is, violence is abhorrent, savage and unfortunately sometimes it's the best way solve problems. Look, I've been in my fare share of violent altercations, and I can not think of one that didn't settle things once and for all after, as long as it was a one on one situation. I will say I think it's super funny that all these people are surprised and shocked and appalled that this kind of violence could happen at what is commonly referred to as a gentleman's sport. They're like those people that are neighbors with the dude that climbs up a clock tower and shoots 15 people; "I never would have thought he was capable of that...". Let me be the first to say, I saw it coming a long ways off. The one thing that I could see that goes well out of this would be, maybe people will take riding a fucking bike in a circle a little less serious.

One person who witnessed the account said that one guy, we'll call him Derrick, was tired of the other guy, we'll call him random duchebag and his overly aggressive tactics, and when random duchebag had forced Derrick into the gutter one time to many, words we're exchanged that led to the two of them dismounting. If this is in fact how it went down, let me just make my position on the matter clear: it is at this point you have agreed to non-diplomatic conflict resolution. We're no longer talking about bike racing. Now I can't think of anything more pathetic that 2 dudes duking it out in full spandex and in (it gives me idiot shivers at how ill equipped they are) cycling shoes. I don't care if one dude slipped getting off the bike, I don't care if one dude slipped throwing a punch, I don't care if they both made out like cooped up dogs in heat. When you stopped the bike, you agreed to non diplomatic conflict resolution. We're not talking about bike racing any more. If you prefer diplomacy or bike racing when somebody keeps putting you into the curb, you sit in and sit up until after the last lap and you have a conversation like the peaceful civilized asshole everybody has come to know and love. When you decide you are going to let your inner primate take over, you better jump the fuck in with both feet.

Don't get fooled into thinking I've won every fight I've been in. I've gotten housed lotsa times. Lots. But after it's over I collect my dignity and what's left of my teeth and I go the fuck home. What I don't do is call the police and snitch. A snitch is far lower in my opinion than somebody who settles things with his fists.

Now, conversely, if I hit a dude and he hits the ground, the fights over. That's it. Done. If you kick a dude while he's down or you punch a dude on the ground, you're either embarrassed because you didn't knock him out cold (you punch like a rank amateur or you did it wearing cycling shoes) or you're a bully. Now, on my echelon of scum, I place bully just below snitch making him the lowest of the low. Nothing is lower than a bully.

And finally, if I'm a victim of bullying I would hope my friends, even the ones that dress in superhero outfits and helmets and sunglasses that make them look like robot dinosaurs, would step in and peel that piece of shit off me so we can peel off our outrageously expensive yet good for nothing but riding bikes shoes and handle things like men sometimes do.

Without further ado I'll let Michael Madsen say it better than I ever could:

"You kids shouldn't play so rough. Somebody's gonna start crying..."

Lyrics Tuesday: Yob-Burning the Altar

2011-05-17T16:36:00.000-07:00

special "let's hope your on pills or something" edition of lyrics tuesday...

Burning eyes brim with tears
Heavy heart clenched like a fist
Grasping hope with hands in flames
Burning ashes
Burning to the core

Wretched fools suffer fate
In worlds that they made
Sand slipping through fingers
Wisdom in decay

Burning the altar
Ashes billow across the sky
Burning the altar
Burning the altar

The ignorant rule the weak
With iron law and wrathful deeds
Eyes within eyes
All seeing
All mass delusion
Trumpets to the fall

Hollow psalms
The drums of war
Beating the stretched skin of the fallen
Redirect the vision within now
While the world ends

The hardest part...

2011-05-16T20:32:00.000-07:00

I have purchased 2 custom bicycle frames in my relatively short time of post-cycle evolutionary re-invention. My first bike was a waltworks road bike, and it was (is) awesome. Anybody who has a 10 minute convo with me about bikes knows I prefer steel. It rules as far as longevity. If you pity my choice of a weighty material, I pity your buying into slavery to commercial ridiculousness. At any rate, I coasted about 8 feet post initial build on that bike, and I would imagine I had a look on my face similar to the one Soren made when I snuck him a fingertip of maple syrup for the first time. My mind, like his was freaking blown. I never looked back after that. I worked for specialized in a small capacity last summer just as I'll be doing this summer as a wrench at their dealer event. I was drawn in by the concept of a shiny new hardtail, hanging up my full suspension xc bike days, via a deal from specialized inside sales rep and rat tail sporting all in all Latin bike pimp Juan Diaz. I rode it about a month before I wanted to trade it for a steel bike with a non spaceship geometry and a slightly more sensible fork. At that time walt was clocking a close to 7 month waiting period for a frame, and I wanted to try my hand with someone else's skillz. Enter this dude:

well maybe not him exactly, but in my, and the high holy priest of misery's opinion, he's the custom bike version. Opinionated, skilled, absent minded and in a class by himself: Paul Sadoff. I sold my s-works frame and forwarded said funds to rock lobster custom bikes. On groundhogs day I began talks with Paul. I was immediately excited about him building my new whip. He asked where I was from and told me "oh yeah, Redlands...I used to drive thru there on my way to do drugs...". I was pumped. Wait time was a major factor, as the 5.5 months I had to wait for my waltworks was enough to piss off the good humor man. I dunno how people handle richard sachs and people like him who have some insane 6 year waiting period. When he called to finalize the design work I would have to have a 30 minute "where the fuck do you get off..." conversation before I could possibly move onto seat tube angles. At any rate, Paul told me it was 3 or 4 months with an outside possibility of slightly more. He said he's never had a wait of more than 6 months, and is somewhat far from his record as far as amount of orders written. Also, he somewhat begrudgingly built a bar/stem for me that would match the bike, which is a request I have a feeling walt would have outrightly denied. With walt, he would just say "i dont do that." to my rediculous requests, and i got a great frame because of it. He wouldn't entertain my sophomoric first custom experience. With paul, he would say "uuuuuuuh...." to my far less rediculous requests, and with a small amount of cajoling, i got a little more customized experience, without painting myself into a corner with some wierd fad mod that would ruin the longevity of the frame.

I would say that the waiting is truly the hardest part, as stated by some no talent ass-clown, who shared the stage with Roy Orbison from time to time. The wait with waltworks was made worse by a "watched pot never boils" waiting list that he posts online. The wait with my rock lobster was made worse by the fact that he had my frame completed in 3.25 months, bar/stem completed in 3.75 (photo evidence of these items was the worst) and now at 4.25 months the frame and cockpit are floating in a purgatory sea of powdercoating/shipping. It's my fault for being such a cantankerous impatient asshole that the wait is making me sprout a tumor, but ive been riding my full squish doom carriage for the last 3 months exclusively, and while that bike is fun, I'm ready for something a little more nimble and, most importantly, made especially for me so I feel like the Lords unique and special snowflake, except, you know, on a bike.

lyrics tuesday- Acid King 2-Wheeled nation

2011-05-11T12:14:00.000-07:00

its bike month. Enjoy.

Ride away from falling ground
Ride away from the big black cloud
Ride away until the day comes
That we all live in a 2 wheel nation

Ride away from noise and sound
Ride away from the life that's now
Ride away until the day comes
That we all live in a 2 wheel nation

Lyrics Tuesday- SSD: Boiling Point

2011-04-26T06:44:00.000-07:00

I think i am going to try and do a weekly thing on this here blog. I am going to post lyrics to a song that has been re-accuring in my mind over the last week. Sometimes i will have profound meanings behind these lyrics, and sometimes it will just be something that has been running thru my head non-stop. I think this is more of the latter than the former.

I've kept it bottled up for years
Instead of fighting or shedding tears
Now it's time to let go
My boiling point's about to show
I don't know if I'll lose control
Of my mind, my body, or soul
Boiling Point
Boiling Over
Boiling Point
Now it's over

Death to false metal pt. 2.

2011-04-23T11:54:00.001-07:00

http://rocklobstershop.blogspot.com/2011/04/steel-26-wheel-mtb-frame-for-so-cal.html

Click on the link for the straight shizzle. You don't want to click, it's cool, I'll sum it up for ya. My bike>your bike.

Redlands Bike Classic Swiss Style Wrench Support: Day 2

2011-04-05T21:54:00.000-07:00

Living in southern california, if you race bikes, we get an extra certainty among the ones everybody else gets. Death, Taxes, and of course, Criteriums.

I had to skip out of the second day of the bike classic, Stage 1 the Beaumont Circuit, due to my getting news of the advent of the coming apocalypse, or, my son being born. Dr. said the baby is coming but not for a good week, maybe two, so we may have to coax the harbinger of the end along a little bit. I'm certain there'll be more on that soon...

At any rate, day 2 for me was the Crit. Pretty simple, stand in the wheel pit and look for frantic racers or an arm indicating something was wrong with their rig, OR, a third option i had not really thought about, which was naive due to me racing more than a fair share of crits, crashes. The womens race went off without anything going wrong for a good while. Couple of little scrape type craches, but nothing too bad. One girl had twisted her shifter a little bit in a crash, but ultimately was fine. Pretty sure everybody finished who had the physical ability.

Then, the guys race. The first dude that coasted in at the beginning of the first lap indicated he had a front flat. Bart, being smarter than him on what i'm sure amounted to about 2 hours of sleep the night before changed the rear, because it was in fact the rear that was flat. I asked bart how he was so sure without even checking, then, without even touching me, he choked me from across the room and told me he found my lack of faith distrubing. The second guy that went down asked a medic to tape him up right quick. The medic was NOT prepared. He wrapped him up but didnt have scissors so was trying to tear the guaze. After a little while and while i was going thru his shifting and making sure his rig had survived the scrape. It was good to go thank heavens. I saw how quick Bart put a twisted bike back together and i was a little unsure of my abilities. Then came the snags. Snag number 1: when the race commissar came over she instructed me i had to hold him, which was fine, except he was holding himself up on the fence by an area that was other than the area indicated by bart to push the dudes in. No biggie i would just hold him right there. Official didnt seem to care, so why should i? Snag number 2: He starts barking at me to hold him more to the left. Thankfully i had sense enough not to just to what we said because A) the peloton was moving to the right, so that was dumb, and B) we were on the camber of the gutter, so it gave him a false feeling of leaning to the right. I just ignored him, i was holding him straight. Snag number 3: the official didn't give me instructions on when to push him out, and to be truthful, i was sort of waiting on feeling him take of, then pushing. Well, as soon as the chase came after the break, like, as soon as rider number one from the chase was in sight, secretariat starts to bolt. The official pointed and yelled for him to stop for s second, then take off, and he did. Then she lays into me saying not to push him out til instructed, to which i replied, "there was no push, he just...went..." She apologized and proceeded to lay into the rider's team manager. Then, i saw a guy indacate on his way up to the Lord's corner on olive and cajon he had a flat. He came around, i told Bart. Bart told me to take it, and the proceeded to heckle me the entire time. At least it went off without a hitch, he was way cooler than seabicuit before him. Also, he was an aussie, who while flinty, chatty, and from a country conceived by criminals, are really cool people. I have yet to find an exception.

Then the biggest deal of the day came. BIG crash in the final turn of the final lap. Dude who was second wheel goot pushed into the fence and a bunch of the people who were fighting for wheels went down. It was one of those crashes where there was a bunch of gnarled twisted bodies and then every once in a while you'd see a rear wheel pop straight up in the air if the blob of bodies sucked in another rider. It even seemed like Bart lost his cool a teency weency as he came out of the booth and was yelling "rider down" and motioning like a 3rd base coach telling a runner to slide. Nothing to support there though, so other than a mild cleanup and a short come to jesus speech by bart about the particulars for the next day, that was all there was to it.

Redlands bike classic Swiss style wrench support: day 1

2011-03-31T08:33:00.000-07:00

Show up around 6 he says. That wakes me up (and I use this term as loose as possible) at 5:25. If I wake up early for a ride, I generally allow for about 30 minutes to get something in my belly and slip into my superhero outfit that I usually put out the night before. This morning it would seem is a little less labor intensive, however I did need to robocop some poor woman's expensive carbon bike yesterday, as chronicled here in her blog, so I figured I would give myself 10 minutes less at 5:20 to insure against any would be curveballs.

I roll in promptly at 6, lock up my whip due to the recent crime spree in Redlands, and due to the fact that the idiot that is now facing felony charges for stealing my somewhat suped-up commuting turd and I crossed paths notoriously not even a week ago. Now, on to what would normally be an item that trumps all others at this God forsaken hour: Coffee.

I visit the good people at Greater Good coffee (<---- see what I did there? It's not just a clever name!). Kris and her crew make me an iced coffee, which, by the way IS the best in town, as far as iced coffee goes. For everything else, Stell is still tough to beat. At any rate even though they were closed, they helped me out with my am fix.

Back to the start line, i sat waiting for somebody to tell me what to do, if i was doing something other than fix bikes. And if I was to fix bikes, i was somewhat un prepared. Limited tools, no stand, no solvents. At some point Scott Tickmeyer offers his truck to go beef up my tech setup, namely, get my stand. I do so. When I get back Tom Belaszka shows up with wheels and other support items. I go thru a girl's front shifting, which is throwing her chain outboard due in part to a bent derailleur cage. After some brief cave-man adjustments and an even brief-er come to Jesus conversation about finding a new derailleur, she was ready(ish). Then the best thing all weekend happened.

Bart miller to the rescue. To those who don't know, Bart is the man. USA cycling mechanic, former euro racer, all around bad ass MC. And with him, he brought his bad ass MC tool kit. More fairly shot girls rigs needed adjusting, the crowned princess of which was a girl who complained of being un able to shift into higher gear with her rear shifter. I checked it out, sure as day, just as she described. Bart was thinking it was the shifter, I was thinking cable, both of which would be and is equally plausible. Upon looking at the cable access while Bart shifted, i noticed the cable head stick out as he attempted to shift into higher gear, which confirmed it was cable. Bart checks the rear as i check the front portion of cable and housing, and bang, there it is. I ask her when she installed the aero-bars, to which she replied the night before. She had clamped the clip on bars around her shifting cable housing which prevented the cable from un-spooling and releasing the the derailleur further outboard. She felt bad. I didn't. I've seen normal people make similar mistakes, the REAL tragedy was this girl who somebody deemed talented enough to pay for her bike skills didn't have the means or desire (hopefully the latter) to hire somebody to make sure she had a proper running bike, which is somewhat important for a stage racer. Sucks. From then on it was tweeking people's bikes to fit the jig for aerodynamic standards and legality. The most difficult adjustment was a rider's clip on aero bars which extended him too far into a superman type position (not legal). From what the gentleman said, this particular set of aero bars were praised for their ease of adjustablity. What's true is they had many options of adjustability, but I assure you ease did not enter into any of the options. I won't bad mouth the company here, so if anybody wants to know what brand they were, lemme know, I'll give you the 411, and even adjust them for you, as after this ordeal, I have a black belt in adjusting them. It took me and Bart as a combo about 45 minutes to adjust those bastards. The racer who they belonged to assured me after that that was world record time compared to his installation time. Kind of a relief.

That pretty much sums it up for that day. I will say the most interesting part of the whole ordeal was that women were pumped on any help they got and dudes basically looked over both shoulders to see if their techs were looking to ask for a 5mm wrench or us to pump up their tires to an unreasonable pressure. One group with zero support, one group with more than they could handle. Interesting, huh?

Beer is for breakfast around here...

2011-03-30T18:57:00.000-07:00

Pro women bike racers get the freakin' shaft from a mechanical standpoint. Every year droves of femme-powerhouses line up with the most hosed down death-traps to ever grace the peloton. A couple of years ago a girl came in with a headset issue. I literally don't know how she got it to the bike shop without breaking the frame. They were drop in campy style bearings, and the preload was SO loose, that i think the bearings might have been shook loose from their in frame races. No kidding. Last year due to some savvy negotiating by a mechanic, i glued about 8 sets of tubulars for a women's team, and the glue job that had been done previously, was insane. The ease of removal of said tires reminded me of this little ditty.
(sorry for the pause for corporate mind raping)

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: Pulling Teeth
- Watch more Videos at Vodpod.

I BARELY pulled. Every year they are so appreciative. So appreciative that they bring bottle after bottle, case after case, growler after growler of everybody's favorite liquid: Beer.

Now, i know what you're thinking; 10 out of 9 mechanics love to receive an oat soda in return for for their mechanical prowess. Now that is pre-supposing that a mechanic likes the taste of beer. Now on that, i cannot argue, as i have yet to find an exception to the rule, including yours truly. However, being as if the taste of beer is accompanied by alcohol, it unleashes a ferrous, stark-raving animal that lurks in a black, normally ignored corner of my otherwise shiny and happy soul, i think everybody would agree it is best to let well enough alone, and just leave me dry. I'm a fast and loose unruly asshole as it is, you wanna add alcohol to that equation? That's what i thought.

So here's the thing, i'm thinking i wanna start making the standard bartering chip for bike mechanic's expertise something that i have been thinking is long overdue to get big among our ranks: Heroin.

Now hear me out. Everybody drinks beer. Especially bike mechanics. Even those who end up punting the job and send someone careening into the curb because the silicone polish on their braking surface actually made them accelerate when they applied the brakes. Even that dude gets beer. I seen it happen. So if i do an extra special job on your rig and you end up with a bucket of dates to show for your 25th lap sprint preem, wouldn't you agree i deserve something with a little more kick? Lou Reed seemed to enjoy the stuff immensely, and i am a huge Lou Reed fan.

Heroin bike racers, heroin. Where are you supposed to get ahold of this stuff? Your problem, not mine. My problem is "Perfect Day" on repeat with what i would imagine amounts to about a tenth of the potential understanding for the melody and lyrics. On heroin that song blows my mind. Guarantee it. Having said that, here's a glimpse of what you'd have on your hands if i had about a half a beer in my tummy. What can i say? I'm a cheap date.

Alright alright alright

2011-03-11T22:14:00.000-08:00

Pulled into goleta at 8-ish, went to dinner at outback, ready as I'm gonna be for the 100 miles tomorrow, headed for bed with dazed and confused playing in the background. Good times to follow, pics to prove it too.

Don't Believe the Hype..

2011-02-21T16:35:00.001-08:00

About a month ago i decided i was done with the carbon spaceship bikes. Its cool that they're light, but in the end i'm a classic over plastic kind of guy.

Decided to sell the stumpy frame and fork; i first consulted craigslist, thinking i should ask for an amount higher for all the would be lo-ballers out there. Just after i decided to go ahead and list it on fleabay. Since paypal sho' do take a bite, i decided to list it for 100 more than i listed it on craigslist. Within 2 hours i had a bid.

So pumped.

That will more than pay for my new custom Rock Lobster as well as a sweet ass top-of-the-line Fox fork. So pumped. Who knows what its gonna end up going for? More than i was expecting.

To explain the title of the post, i was thinking, "Who in god's name is going to want a 26" hardtail for what i'm asking with all this 29er hype we have going?" Apparently, it was all for naught, thus the title of the post....

Palm Springs touring

2011-02-12T18:51:00.000-08:00

I just sort of thought that tour of ps would be lames ville, but I hadn't even analyzed WHY. Turns out all the reasonsi thought itd be dumb were all the reasons it'd be cool.

I was talked into going by about 9 different people who just assumed I was going, asking if I was going. The final conjecture came from new friend but familiar face John. He made it sound the runners off all those that asked, so I said sure, I'd go with him. We didn't even get down there til like 9 and we only did about 60 miles of it which I assume was the metric loop. What a great ride. It was cool to see all the people out on differing rigs of all shapes and sizes just enjoying the pristine weather and far better than average view. We had a blast. The highlights include me passing a dude who was wearing a Belgian nationals champion jersey and I huffed "hup, hup!" at him to which he replied "Hup! Hup!", also we saw dudes on razor scooters with a 700c wheel on the front (perhaps it was 650c), and we got called motherfuckers in spanish by dudes who we pulled along like a freight train engine and never once put their face into the wind. Good times. It was super encouraging and made us feel super fast to be passing so many folks. In the end that was our downfall as we were both digging our tongues out of our spokes. I actually ended up with a little bit of a suntan! Good times for sure. Already planning on doing some more rides like that, cuz it was a blast.

I...I...I just get so pumped....

2011-02-10T22:03:00.000-08:00

http://rocklobstershop.blogspot.com/2011/02/unofficial-25th-anniversary-mtb-frame.html

Click on the link if you're a bike person and the sit down and get comfy for some bike ranting....

Ok, first things first, if you said the words, "I wonder how much it weighs...?". Or "won't that be a little heavy" or a similar phrase, please raise your right hand. Now, ball that hand up as tight as you can and punch yourself in the face. And I mean hard. Like you are collecting rent for some mafia don.

Point #1: Who cares?
Point #2: if you are a racer and the difference between winning and losing a race is 2 or so lbs, maybe do an extra interval during your no doubt grueling training regiment, and voila, difference nullified. Or you can remove a half a pound from your wheel set up and voila, difference MORE than nullified. Or you can make a right turn right off of a cliff, and voila, difference nullified.
Point #3: picture two people at the bottom of a the fire road at crafton. Lets say these 2 people are me and the fire marshal of the funless firehouse, Matt Freeman. It's a balls out race to the top. Matt's gonna win right? For sure, because after all, the dude hates fun. Freeman and I ride fairly similar geometry bike, so just for yucks, let's switch bikes and do it again. Who do you think is gonna win. If you think it's me, you're taking crazy pills. it's not the bike. Like, ever. And if it is, it's a loss i can live with knowing I came that close to winning on a WAY cooler bike.
Point #4: Next year when you have a hairline crack in your bb, or your head tube, or you have to have the weight savings of a press in bb x43+, you're getting a new frame. Then, when that one cracks or some other lame component is offered you have to have, lather rinse repeat. See a pattern developing? While you're experiencing the wrath of the math, I'm on the same frame. Classic staying power is priceless.
Point #5: Made in America, by a dude who has literally been building frames as long as I've been breathing.
Point #6: At the end of the day, we're talking about a bike ride. I highly doubt I need to be enforced upon the latest and greatest in aerospace technology on A FRICKIN BICYCLE!!

Do yourself a favor, consciously try and have a good helping of fun next time you ride a bike. Especially if you can't recall the last ride that was in fact fun.

Pain

2011-02-04T09:57:00.000-08:00

... Is normally temporary, but my leg hurts worse than when I fell over yesterday. Except when I ride a bike, which is weird. I hope it's not broken.

Project Bike Donkey goes offroad.

2011-01-21T20:39:00.000-08:00

Today i took the remedy up to crafton. I don't have any sweet GPS content, cuz i left my garmin at home. Let me just say this. Lugging a 30lb 6" travel bike uphill is SO much harder and less fun than a hardtail.

Coming Downhill however was a different story. That was a blast.

At any rate, can't help but think back to stories i've heard about tinker training with a backpack full of rocks, so i have to think that doing all the fire road and the little trail up to Zanja Peak on that bike will fit into my climbing scheme nicely. Tomorrow will be on the road though, training properly.

Huckin'

2011-01-14T09:21:00.000-08:00

I tried full suspension for a little while. It was fun, i just couldn't wrap my head around it for race or fast pace riding. Ditched it. Now, i think fast paced riding has its pace, and i got the bike for it, to the t. But, now i want to have a little more fun. Have a little more leisure time on the bike. i want to jump a bike off a house. What to do, what to do....? I know, i'll get ahold of my favorite surrogate uncle Greg, see what he can set me up with....

BO OO OO M !!

Imma go jump my bike off of.... the world. It's funny, we have full blown 8" travel DH bikes at the shop, and i've ridden ones i work on around to make sure they aren't gonna explode on the patron's next ride, and honestly, going from riding a bike with not quite 4" of front suspension only to this bike. It might as well be 90" of travel man. It's SO rad. Hopefully i live to make another post.

Project Bike Donkey II

2011-01-08T19:45:00.000-08:00

So today i just decided to go climb. I had about 2 hours to ride, so i figured i'd just go up hwy 38 til i saw 1:30 on the clock, then i'd come back. I timed it a little sort, as it turns out it took me 2:15 or so. Not so bad for somebody that sucks at climbing. I got the link below in case you give a crap.

Prolly go out with the CVV dudes tomorrow. Their ride tends to be pretty fun/not a total popestomper. Then i'll be digging a sweet ass pump track for Ryder, the the Ayatollah of Agony-a's son. How Ryder talked him into such a fun project is beyond me. Must have been trish's idea.

It's only saturday evening and i have MANY sweet movies viewed. Here's the list so far:

Blow-out: Awesome. Can see why this is a Tarantino fave. How did Travolta go from Saturday Night Fever to Look Who's Talking to Pulp Fiction to Wild Hogs?

Deathrace 2000: I may or may not be getting a tattoo of the flag from the movie. Man, if the year 2000 would have turned out like Corman said, it would RULE!

Cobra: My dad wouldn't let me watch it as a kid. I've wanted to ever since. Prettyyyyy bad.

The Gauntlet: Clint Eastwood seldom disappoints. Especially as a shady cop. The shootout scene at the end.....SUPERB.

I think we're about to watch raising arizona in french, and i'm damn sure watching Machete before the weekend is over. Wife got it for me cuz she rules/we aren't raising kids to watch steel magnolias.

Project Bike Donkey -or- base mileage can be fun

2011-01-01T18:17:00.000-08:00

So i went out and did my climbing intervals on thursday for Project Bike Donkey. I'm either doing it really right, or really wrong. I started by doing all the way up sunnyside from cypress, then i did arroyo (that hill is a real rabbi slapper if you've never tried it), then i did serpentine, then a little interval after you get in the clear after alessandro, then the latter half of the walled section on sunset. I finished up, the whole endeavor took a shade over an hour on account of my easy spin in non-interval sections. This all took place shortly after Jason "wildbeard" Reynolds bought ordered pizza for the shop. So when i got back, there was free pizza waiting for me. Now, i realize that pizza ia not the keystone to a healthy diet, but i didn't know it would put it's thumb 4 inches in my ear like this. For the rest of the day i felt like my sould weighed an extra 8 pounds and was trying to work its way out of my skin like this:

Everybody told me what warmed over whipped crap i looked like for the rest of the day. I felt it.

Next day i just did a little easy spinning.

Today, i went to AJ's house, by bike. Prolly just a smidge over 70 miles as i left the computer off accidentally for some of it, but i did it in a little under 4 hours. Not bad. i did it on halloween and it took me 5 but i had a backpack, and there was a lot of lag waiting for flats. It's a good little ride! If Aj were friends with any of my bike friends, i would invite some of them because the whole thing is pretty fun. Its like a 4 hour ride with a single climbing interval that is pretty strenuous going over anaheim hills on this deaconpuncher of a street called serrano. This time serrano really didn't seem so bad, so i guess the intervals are working. I'm also in a little better shape than i was at halloween and i didn't have a backpack. here's a the ride info in case you give a rats ass.

FU monday group ride

2010-12-29T09:22:00.000-08:00

so, i get a text from from the arch enemy of good times on monday, should have known something was up. I meet up at the coffee shop at the time provided, thinking me and captain miserable, maybe one more would show there mugs on a traditionally celebrated day-off for cyclists. Nay nay. The pope of bad-times village was accompanied by Foist, The Pettis', Eric Mac, and Gary Shuey. Gary has 2 speed, sleep and awesome, so if he's having a good time on a group ride, chances are, you're not. We decided to do the mostly rideable Jack Rabbit Trail, which i had never done before, so that was pretty fun. Except for the climbing.

Let me say this about climbing: I hate it. It's a neccessary skill to have for any cyclist, but every time i have to do it, i do my best impersonation of a donkey trying to ride a bike. I've been that the only way to get better at something is to do it over and over. Makes sense. So, once a week until i can stay with a group up a climb, I'm going to do 5 sets of climbing intervals. Im gonna call it Project Bike Donkey. Since i know all 4 of my blog followers are probably reeling from the shock and awe of this new project, i'll keep you posted with my next blog post, sometime this week, weather permitting tomorrow or friday. Tune in.

Oh yeah, here's a link to the group ride foist and i dubbed "FU monday"

Jackrabbit group ride by x_steve_x at Garmin Connect - Details

Bender

2010-11-15T09:34:00.000-08:00

Cancer is a son of a bitch.

Rob Bender was a cool guy. I don't know him a tenth as well as a bunch of other people who could elaborate on it a lot more than i can. Every time he came into the shop he was in a good mood, positive in general, and not a sawed off "bike guy" type, which isn't an easy feat for somebody who was an accomplished cyclist.

My favorite (and only real for that matter) Rob Bender story is, one time at a local organized dirt crit, there were some young guns who were new to the area, driving the front of the race. For the duration of the race, they were controlling the front like a road crit, rob just sat back and waited. Everybody who was watching or racing was fairly impressed by these new guys skill and didn't know what to think, except Rob. I'd imagine he was probably thinking, "I'm gonna show these guys how a race is won in about 2 minutes". About a minute and 59 seconds later, coming into the finish of the last lap, Bender powered around them and won. Man, were these dude's pissed. The look on Bender's face was classic. It was just like "Well, you win some and you lose some fellas, unless your me, then you lose til it counts, at which point you win..." it was like a half smug half disappointed that they thought it would be that easy look. It was awesome.

Cancer took Rob from the world. It's cliche to say, but he was too young to die. He'll be missed.

Do I Feel Lucky?

2010-11-04T11:30:00.001-07:00

Leadville lottery opened at 11 today. Got my ap in at 11:04. Chances are the race will blow my head CLEAN off, but imma give it a shot anyways.

Came REAL close to checking the box for singlespeed. I wonder if i can alter my entry form, cuz i'd really like to do that, i'm just nowhere near the dominate physical prowess it would entail.

So, thus begins the painstaking gut-checks up the hill til i find out if i even get picked. I figure it like this: I get picked, i'll be in shape. I don't get picked, it enforces my "eff the man" attitude, and.... i'll be in shape. So, i really hope i make it in. But seriously, either way, Eff the man.

Til then,
Fight Oppression, Rise Above the Opposition.

Juggernaut

2010-10-29T12:13:00.000-07:00

I've been laying silently in the weeds for some time, re-prioritizing, re-focusing, etc. Re-inventing. Destroying the old machine.

A new prophecy will come to be in under a half a year. My seed will enter this world. The seed of destruction. This, fulfilling the prophecy and and bringing to fruition my rightful place of Paternal Lord of the End.

Next order of business, a gathering of the faithful for All Hallows Eve. Update of componentry. Update of plans and goals for the next year.

Fight oppression, Rise above the opposition.

settling in.

2010-06-15T21:50:00.000-07:00

strange days of late. Last 3 weeks have been an adjustment. Boxing + Heat - One Salesperson - One Mechanic + Better Working Environment=BUSY.

Thai Boxing is going great. Kicks are finally coming around. Still have to adjust to the punishment as well as the science of it. Coaches are awesome. Funny and encouraging and full of knowledge. Plus hilarious.

June was coming. The heat was coming. We all knew with the onset of one the other is hand in hand with it. Something about it though, made me feel like it crept. It was hot more suddenly it seems to me. It made me go "How hot is it today? 90's? Oh, well, i guess it IS june..."

We're down a salesperson, although i am assured that we have a new one to take Mary's place, although i doubt this person will bake oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, which is both a good thing and a bad thing, but definitely a symbol that Mary's shoes will be tough to fill. Man, she could sell ice to an eskimo.

Mike's gone. When people ask where he went, i gleefully exclaim "Who cares?" I have debating making a post dedicated to mike for a long time. I will sum it up in this little ode. Mike was a very capable wrench (notice i said very) with a piss poor memory, and a tendency to turn his "my way or the highway" attitude up to 11. Mike loved to call people out, which was good. Its better though, if you can do it in a blameless manner. For example, he would make a big deal out of incomplete work orders. If he wasn't the most heinous offender of this crime, he was certainly the second most. He would make a point to take personal responsibility for work. Only problem is, when you keep everyone in the dark, the work suffers in your absence. Also, mike would pick tickets. He would write 180 tickets for huffys hand over fist, but you would only see 55 dollar repairs on bianchis in his stand. That gets old fast. So he's gone. I heard he went to some shop in the hood by the name of Ron's. hope the best for him. Real talk.

So much easier to get work done in his absence, but, the work load is increased. You do the math. According to The big guns, were "looking" for another wrench. Personally i think we need to settle for another wrench. We just need a warm body that can change flats and build bikes.

If i dont go for a run tomorrow morning that consists of more than 2 miles, the next person to call me out can punch me in the stomach if i didnt. Free shot.

back in the saddle again

2010-05-18T09:01:00.000-07:00

man, a lot has gone on since my last post. I got a new bike. 2 Technically. I started Thai Boxing again. I say again because i have taken kickboxing lessons in the past, however, this time, im taking actual Muay Thai, from real life Siamese Twins.

The new bike came from Waltworks. Bike is sweet. Somehow i forgot to tell Walt to put a braze on for the front derailleur, so i have to use an adapter, which is lamesville, however, it still weighs in astoundingly below what i expected. So pumped. I'd be a little more pumped if i was totally healthy for the first rides. Still getting rid of the last of my bronchitis.

Got a single speed from Tom Kessler my KHS rep. Dude is rad, and i noticed that KHS made steel singlespeed rigid 29ers last year, but not this year. Hey Tom, what are the chances you have any from last year on closeout. Pretty freaking good actually, and for a price i couldn't possibly say no too.

Now when i say that my coaches are siamese twins, i don't mean conjoined you ignorant bastards, i mean they are from siam, or modern day thailand. They immigrated here from thailand at the age of 17. Both of them Thai champions in their weight classes by the time they set foot on american soil. They are unlike any other workout i have recieved in martial arts. Completely different.

here's where i am now...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JIzvHYWGvY4

here's the goal:

Death To False Metal

2010-04-22T19:15:00.001-07:00

you know you got a mechanical when...

2010-04-13T19:17:00.001-07:00

I'm sucking your wheel on a tuesday night.

After Doing loch levin this morning with local werewolf woody woodruff, I decided to round up some supplies to build up a set of wheels for the sweetest local fixed gear aficionado around, Ryan Herrera. I decided if had enough time to get all suited up and swap the cleats over to my newly renovated pair of Maressi shoes (which function more like ballet slippers than cycling shoes, but they look SO sweet), i would go duke it out with the local roadies and get my ass handed to me on a silver platter. For me, i didn't do too bad. That's not saying much, but hey, forward motion is progress huh?

At any rate, if you are back at the back with me, either you got some riding to do, or, you got a mechanical. Luckily i'm a hack at a local shop, so when i heard a dude in front of me's derailleur tapping out a rhythm like a pendulum, i figured i would offer my assistance. The conversation went something like this...

Me: ...Hey, uh... you got tension issues (mind you im being kind because it sounds like an Immortal blast beat is coming out of his derailleur, WAY out of adjustment)
Guy: Yeah, thanks.
Me: Come by the shop and i'll fix it for you (mind you i haven't offered a pricetag, just a service that i would gladly give free of charge)
Guy: Oh, i can fix it, i just didn't...
Me: Oh.

If i ever offer assistance on a group ride, i'm offering as customer service on behalf of the local bicycle shop. I'm not gonna charge you. It's better for all parties involved if your derailleur doesn't sound like its going to burst into flames on the local group ride.

Ride w/ Freeman 4/9/10 by x_steve_x at Garmin Connect - Details

2010-04-09T15:46:00.000-07:00

Ride w/ Freeman 4/9/10 by x_steve_x at Garmin Connect - Details

How does an overweight healthy cat 3 fair against a sick pro...?

2010-04-09T15:41:00.000-07:00

I dunno. Ask freeman, he's too far up the trail to hear my voice yelling "I'm gonna die....".

off road triathlon

2010-04-07T19:32:00.000-07:00

I've never entered into a tri i didn't like. I even thought about doing a lot more of them, but i found myself never training for the swim (my worst discipline) and always training on the bike (my best discipline), and i'm pretty sure that's not how it should go.

Anyhoo, i fixed a dude's bike today who mentioned he was glad to have it back for an off road triathlon he would be doing this weekend in san dimas' bonelli park (or as i like to refer to it, theivesville). This piqued my interest, so i decided i would check it out online. Thus beginning the connundrum.

Let me also mention that while i have not entered a tri i didn't like, i have also never entered a triathlon that i have paid for. PossAbilities has always hooked me up. This tri would end up setting me back 95 bones. Seems like a lot, but hey, i get a swim cap and a t-shirt. Plus i like supporting these type events in a general sort of way, so i guess i dont mind paying, but 95 does seem a bit like prison rape to me.

Also, it could cost me to gain a wealth of knowledge about said events, which i may or may not even like. If i end up liking it, that'd be worth it, if i don't....yeah. Maybe local stud/sweet dude brian hickock can help me with my dilemma, by providing insight on how much fun to dollar value correlation there is/ a loophole into not getting prison raped over the entry fee. We shall see.

Good ride with tom

2010-04-03T17:23:00.000-07:00

Tom Bielaszka, certifiable badass, and i went for a bike ride. Whenever it came to running stop signs, i would just sorta run it, and then expect him to be like "Get on the ground dirtbag!!!" That didn't happen though. He was actually running lights which i rarely do. I figured riding around with a cop sorta makes it ok-ish. wanted to go for a ride on the dirt, now that's on hiatus til tomorrow. My road rig is "in the hole" according to walts website. My bike and my wife's masi (courtesy of john rubcic) may actually get finished up around the same time. Should make for some good fun.

Listening to a lot of Mark "dont call me mr kotter" Foist favorite of late, rush. He said i could find sweet rush gear on ebay, so i'll prolly look that up in a bit. Also, been watching a lot of supernatural, a show about the (you guessed it) supernatural. When people cough up satanic bees, or when you have to undo a curse while speaking latin, or you kill some zombie with a salt round, i dont give a rats ass 'bout the dialogue, its pretty safe to say im interested. Although, the dialogue is pretty bad. Hair is getting pretty long. Im into it to say the least. I should be doing podium hairwhips in no time flat.

the blackie lawless training regimen...

2010-03-31T08:13:00.000-07:00

so im starting to turn it up a notch or so. Yesterday i put in an hour with john, then after did some easy miles out to grand terrace. On my way back from grand terrace tho, i did over-under intervals. I think i made myself a little sick. i probably did 15 of a minute on/off. Anyways, i really want to keep the furnace hot for when i get my road bike from walt. I want to be putting 10+ hours (some road some mtb) every week until i start climbing in numbers up to the top. I will be dominating local beginner/cat 5 races in a matter of months. Also, somebody needs to make this into a shirt.

yardin it.

2010-03-23T09:57:00.000-07:00

so, here's a pic of my crank bros. eggbeater SL after i did some face time with the trail on saturday.

damn, what a bummer. I'm sending it back to crankbrothers along with some beer to the dude building my bike. i hate the post office. What a pisser.

everybody was like, "Dude, ditch those pedals, shimano's are way better..." that's cool and i appreciate that, but replacing these is free for now, so we're going with that.

the failure came at a pretty bad point on a rutted decent. Ass over the back wheel, white knuckling the bars, pop! it came out and i ate it. I dunno what im gonna use if i decide to ditch these, they've been sweet 'til this point, but now all these people are coming out of the woodwork saying they suck. Wait and see says i.

to tap power or not tap power, that is the question. i would prefer to get one i can use with my mountain rig if i get one at all, but i will have to wait and see. just the hub is a bit more than i can muster right now. maybe that one that works with speedplays... maybe a quarq. we'll see.

My official review of Shimano Dura-Ace 7900

2010-03-12T10:22:00.000-08:00

It sucks.

It wont work with after market cables. Give it enough time (3 months or so...) and it wont work with shimano cables. Tuned up chopper's bike, shifting was horrible. Took a GORE cable from my new sram force group. Its fine. Give it a few weeks tho, im sure it will need more adjusting. Keep in mind this is after the 7900 quick link debacle that i had already fixed months earlier.

I ask people "If you got 3 groups to choose from, why choose the heaviest/most expensive?" They tell me, "dura-ace is like an old friend, i go with what i know". I can respect that, but, at what point does the old friend become the guy who's been crashing on your couch for the last 4 months?

My beef isnt with shimano, its with this particular incarnation of dura-ace. You have to have a top end shimano group? Get Di2.

im just now noticing...

2010-03-11T07:17:00.000-08:00

that matt freeman doesn't have a nickname in my peeps section....

i herby open the floor for suggestions on matt's nickname. As you can see, those i have listed are usually associated with something i associate with them. Josh highland is teh interwebz, without him i wouldnt even be on here blogging. AJ is one of the more philosophical people i know, plus he's into thor comics, so journey into mystery. Trish's nickname comes from Mallrats, which she has probably never seen and would be offended by if Matt had not probably explained the quote to her. Joy used to come into the coffee shop i worked at with a copy of a book called skinny bitch, so we started calling her skinny b, however, that seemed like too many syllables, so i went with slim. Team Redlands is a bunch of badasses, plus the moderator is named chopper. Matt is a vegan, but if you read his blog, im sure you will find that is just one dimension to a very deep individual.

How did Matt Freeman get hosed?

lets see what we can tack on him, and those making suggestions, please remember its never what the person wants as a nickname. Nicknames are NOT self applied, and are seldom self liked.

Matt's a music snob... Music Snob Matt?
Matt's a cynic.... Cynical Matt?
Matt's fast.... Fast matt? <---- i think i would have to add a y to his name for this
Matt's a writer (i guess) .... Writer Matt?
Matt's a dad.... now im reaching, as you can see this isn't easy.

Help me out!

dali doing a finger painting...

2010-03-05T07:15:00.000-08:00

is a pretty accurate comparison for asking this dude to install a clutch cable on a vespa. Which i have. Because im a big dummy.

if you like things that are cool/fun, follow that blog.

wolves...

2010-02-28T19:22:00.000-08:00

I know what i have to do. Its easy. i give the advice all the time to people. Its lame that i can't follow my own advice. I need to Ride the bike more, piss and moan less, lose weight and emerge victorious.

today was a lesson in suffering. I leaned i can hack it. i probably COULD have done better, but in my experience, this is how it usually goes with me. I finish astoundingly low, that turns on the light, and i go out and smash. Im tired of being the whipped poodle, it's time i tapped into my inner wolf.

now, if i could only find an advice wolf....

police, everybody out.

2010-02-23T20:25:00.000-08:00

Went for 2 rides today. One was a "mountain" bike ride. It was off-road alright, but, i wouldn't say it was very mountainous as i was almost shived by a local drinking in a gutter, and among the sites was a best buy. That's right, the first of 2 rides was the never un-famous, always infamous, fullerton loop. My heavens. I think it will be more fun if i:

Have some body to show me where in the hell im going
Ever do it again

It was an hour i will be kind and chalk up to recovery milage. It was more like harsh wake-up mileage after my red-mud encrusted trip to st. george, utah (pictures to come). Many fine things happened on said trip, including tibetan throat singing as well as selling my friend and all-around solid dude Pat a 29er hardtail. Being as he is from oc im sure there will be more prolific OC rides to come, as im not the type of dude to sell a sweet guy like Pat a bike, and not take him riding whenever i get a chance.

The second of the 2 rides was with some dude whos name i cant recall, and woody, who i have only ridden with casually on the death rattling Red Asphalt Ride. Woody is a sweet dude for sure, and he will be installing some s&s couplers on my lemond to turn 'er into a travel bike. SWEET! We went over to the airport and up around sunset. Like a dummy, i forgot my road shoes at work, so i rode that mother on my cross bike which was outfitted with platforms for cross-town trekking. You never really get how hard it is to pedal, especially out of the saddle without being fully attatched to said pedal. Made for a pretty good workout if you don't count the counter productivity to my pedal stroke.

Hair is getting long. Beard is getting strong. Clint Eastwood westerns are king.

Eff the man!

2010-02-14T19:15:00.000-08:00

Not too long ago, we were promised change, by this guy...

Now, i don't fault the guy for running under that campaign moniker. Hell, i would say it won him the election. However, i think if we are honest with ourselves, nothing has really changed. Really.

I bitch and moan with the best of them. I have this little pissant blog to show for it. Big freaking deal. However, i'm not really in the hot-seat to be pushing buttons and pulling levers that are going to actuate any real global or societal change. Now, this might seem like a copout to some, and i would agree. Guilty. Keep reading though, stay with me.

"I hear a lot of talk by a lot of honkeys, sittin' on a lot of money sayin' they are the high society, I say THIS IS the High Society!!"

pretty tough to beat the MC5 as far as live music. Elvis admittedly got the ball rolling, but i would say that the MC5 was arena rock, before there was arena rock; MC5 was Punk, before punk was punk; MC5 was revolution before there was music was revolutionary. People did stuff and said stuff and changed stuff. okay okay, the beatles changed stuff, but mostly i would say within the musician's social circle. When the MC5 played at the 1968 DNC, there was a freaking RIOT. In 68. Shit got real.

I really think all those dudes were doing was rocking out though. I don't think they set out to make stuff happen, until stuff started happening, because of what they were already doing, which is the aforementioned rocking out.

I would like to change personally instead of pissing and moaning. If it changes stuff around me for the better, i think that is totally rad. I think i should start with me though.

More than anything this blog post serves as notice that i'm going to be turning down the complaining and turning up the doing. "Don't talk about it, be about it.", is an awesome phrase that if i was honest with myself, i don't think gets acted out on my behalf enough. So, there is going to be less opinionated bitching, and more reporting on when shit got real.

'cause its one thing to shout "fuck the man!" at the top of your lungs, and its another thing to punch the man in the stomach so hard he pukes all over his Bruno Magli's. You'll be seeing more of the latter on here from now on.

The definition of insanity...

2010-02-12T18:20:00.000-08:00

Is repeating the same action over and over and expecting a different outcome. Or at least that's what i've heard.

Selling something on ebay is enough to piss off the good humor man. Here are some excepts...

potential buyer 1: "I am very interested in the bike, can you send other pics?"
me: "sure"
...
...
me: "did you get the pics?"
potential buyer 1: "oh yeah, but it doesn't have cross top levers so, im not interested..."
me: "ok, well, i can throw some cross tops in, installed, for free!"
Potential buyer 1: "oh, ok. I'll think about it"

WTF

Potential buyer 2: "I am very interested in the bike, can you send other pics?"
me: "ok, but are you really interested? I really don't want to go through the trouble of sending a bunch of pics, unless you are really considering buying, and just want to be reassured with some pics."
Potential buyer 2: "oh no, i am VERY interested"
me:"did you get the pics?"
Potential buyer 2: "is there any way i can get the stock saddle?"
me: "i dont know, i think i can get one, would you want the bike if i could find it?"
potential buyer 2: "oh, yeah!"
me: "then i can totally get it"
potential buyer 2: "How much does it weigh?"
me: "i have no idea. Its a single speed cross bike, man. Not much."
potential buyer2: "i'll think about it."

WTF

Potential buyer 3: "would you consider dropping the shipping price if it was only to austin texas?"
me: "i'll level with you man, if you want the bike, i will ship it for free"
potential buyer 3: "i'll think about it"

WTF?!?!?!?!

they say a picture is worth a thousand words...

2010-02-10T19:05:00.000-08:00

so if i had one photo to sum up my life in a photo essay, it would be this...

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picture yourself running out of gas...

2010-02-05T15:11:00.000-08:00

on a flat section of highway. Momentum's on your side, but it is petering out little by little. You've got a quarter mile 'til the next exit where there is a gas station. You go from 40mph to 30. 30 to 20. 20 to 15. It's at this point you start to make that little scooting motion to nudge the car forward in an attempt to close the last couple of feet.

I've found myself making this ridiculous motion several times on the bicycle. In my humble opinion, this is probably indicative of a piss-poor pedal stroke, and one would be far better off just standing.

Having said that, i shaved a full 7.5 minutes off my best time to the top of Zanja, which i will still not notate on here, because if i make my guess, i have to shave another 7 to start kicking ass and taking names this year.

...but 7.5 is a start.

tuesdays with stubbeh

2010-02-02T14:39:00.000-08:00

today went for a ride on my bicycle as i do most tuesdays. After being on the road for a grand total of 4 minutes, i noticed a gentleman buzzed by me fairly closely, as we were about 200 yards from a red light. No biggy, i decided to approach his car and pass it slowly to look inside see if it was somebody i knew, or something like that. It was nobody i had ever seen, so i went by about my business. After the light had turned green, i went up the road about another 2 hundred yards into a part of town that had apparently had trash day (although i don't think so as we're 2 blocks from my house where trash day is friday) and i had to avoid a trash can that was on the side of the road. The same gentleman (in a tan mercedes, early 90's) decided to again come extremely close to me, closer even than the first time, and honk his horn. I should also mention that this is a 2 lane road. Thinking i was dealing with a coward who might be intelligent and flee as opposed to a balsy dumbass who might stop, i gave him a single digit, and called him a name i can't recall.

that balsy dumbass stopped! Now let me just say this is every cyclists DREAM to have some fatass in a mercedes enter into a conflict with him over contention for the road. I. Was. Stoked. Let me also say that conflict can be a mixed bag with me. Sometimes i let stuff go, super easy, sometimes i lose my temper like a powder keg, but more often than not, i am fairly diplomatic. It really depends on the person on the other side of the debate. Never was this so poignantly portrayed than today.

I roll up, and notice that there is a red sports car that parked, not too far behind who probably witnessed the whole sordid event. Immediately the man driving looked like he regretted stopping. Looking straight forward. Eyes dead ahead. I go, "So what the hell man?" and he says (and this is the golden ticket), "watch where you're riding that thing. I could have hit you!" Now, you cant possibly understand the nuances of the speech patterns by what i've written, but let me assure you the manner in which he spoke these words was not, "you were taking up a lane when you shouldn't, because of that i nearly hit you." It was more like, "in the index of choices i had regarding this situation, among them was purposefully hit you with my car." THAT ws the kind of "could" he used.

*snap*

When i get violent, sometimes things get blurry, so i don't remember all of this 100 percent. The following is what i do remember. "OK man, well, lucky for you you get another shot, so go ahead and get out, but just so you know i'm gonna knock your fucking teeth out of your head and break both of your arms, so good luck collecting your teeth." Like i said, its a little blurry. I do remember saying something about the vehicle code, and him saying something to the effect of, "you ought to look it up...blah blah blah". then after i said something i literally cannot recall, he rolled his window up (it was only open a crack, thank god), and drove away. Remember that dude in the red sports car? he drove off too and when he passed me gave me a thumbs up. I had forgotten clean about him. He could have been one of dudes buddies and laid me out with a tire iron or something. That made me feel a little better, but thanks to some asshole i had to spend the rest of my ride on an adrenaline dump. Man i was pissed. Still am. Not knock his teeth out pissed, but still...

anyways here's a post ride pic of me and stubbs.

on to pantera bread to break bread with man, myth, and brother of legend: stafford heppenstall. I wonder if anybody on team redlands will get that joke.

tuesdays with mildoo

2010-01-26T13:54:00.000-08:00

this is my cat mildoo.

she can be a weenie at times, but she's very energetic and loving. she had pink eye last week. On tuesdays, i don't work at the salon, and i dont work at the bike shop. Its a pretty sweet day for quality time with the cats and riding my bike. The prior is pretty much all i have left on the agenda after this morning's ride. I borrowed a fuel ex 9 from the shop. Man, that thing is like riding on a barcalounger. I was totally worked after 2.5 hours and a breakfast that i think was short a few calories for the 2.5 hours that would follow. Im starving right now. I'm thinking pantera bread for lunch. You can tell im short on oxygen because i'm just typing the words as they come to me with absolutely no filter. Sorry about that.

So check this out. Crafton.

no bullshit, that's like 3 miles up from the tenis courts on the fire road, and that's before i had to start hoofing it. Man, this kinda goes without saying, but the show is super hard to ride in. Anyways, i think im beginning to wrap my head round the full suspension thing, but i dunno if i need 5" AND 29" wheels. Maybe just 4" and 26. Its just a wierd jump from hardtail 26" to hardtail 29" singlespeed, to 26" 5"full suspension. But i guess thats why the call them demo bikes.

I really think i enjoy mountain biking more than i enjoy road cycling.

house cleaning

2010-01-23T16:14:00.000-08:00

let me just ease your mind by saying this post is not about actual house cleaning. Its about cleaning up this here blog. As much as i love my nod to the king, as well as my friends blogs, some of this stuff need updating. Don't worry, i don't plan on breaking the oath. Also, it should be mentioned, that i had to do a little sprucing when it came to the blogs i was following. Some gone (They'd still be there if they posted something every now and again) replaced with some new.

Also, cleaned up my entire itunes by moving all my music to a external hard drive. I have over 90 gigs of music. Even i was surprised at that. Listened to a lot of different music this year. Admittedly, it was mostly heavy metal, however, got into a few punk bands, some jazz, some blues, a little clasical, some afro-jazz, soul, reggae, some hip-hop, etc, etc.

Made short work of my single speed. Its gone to a mostly happy, and extremely inquisitive home. Dude wanted to know every piece of info i could give him, which he was stoked on, cuz i had a lot of info to give. It was a good deal for both of us. New mountain bike later this week (waiting is the worst) to fill in the hole left by the 1xspd. that things gonna be a freaking blast. My first foray into full suspension. So that's exciting.

Cleaning a little house in the old bone box as well. Some stuff going to fleabay, some stuff going to people who need stuff. My dude kyle is gonna pull off a build for like 480 bones. Better/less than i paid for my first bike. Ironically it has a lot of the same parts.

after all this is done, i should have enough for a set of wheels, which will put the kabosh on my road bike which should be wrapping up in like 2 months. Super stoked for that. Also, im pretty sure im gonna turn the mtb into a 2x9 asap. Just gotta figure out the BB situation.

All in all, its a pretty liberating experiance, and like none of it is completely behind me yet.

here's another tirade

2010-01-22T09:32:00.000-08:00

So, i went to go see the hope conspiracy last night. They played with, i dunno, other bands. Everyone beamed about how awesome it was to see this old band and see actual old people at a show. All of this was true.

However. Im not gonna be silent any more. I try not to be a bible beater, and ram my beliefs down people's throats. I think it would be fair to say that anybody who knows me has never felt proselytized or imposed upon as far as what i believe, and i dont come down on people for what they believe. I might tell them why i am unwilling to participate, but i'm pretty sure that's different, and if you cant tell the difference, well, go fly a kite. Off a cliff. Make sure you're holding the string really tight on your way down.

Last night at hopecon, the singer went on a tear about how (i'm paraphrasing), there is no man in the sky to pray to, and time is your only god, you grow old and die. No problems there, EXCEPT he literally said it 5 seconds after saying that he was so sick and tired of peoples beliefs being shoved down the throats of millions and that being a major problem. Way to shit all over the stained glass dude. Completely ruined the show for me. He did more throat shoving in that 5 minutes than i have done post year 25. That's so lame and the days of me letting that go by without calling people out are now done.

This is the kind of post you get when the only riding i get is on my trainer.

i find myself inexplicably drawn...

2010-01-16T22:38:00.000-08:00

To this bicycle.

Big bike. I dunno why. i dont really have a napoleon complex when it comes to bikes, by and largely i ride my size unless i'm borrowing something, however, my handling skills are not up to snuff for hardtail, and while it's not really all that race conducive, man, it looks like a lot of fun. I have to say its far more utilitarian than the 40 pound monsters i went out with on new years day. i would have to do some shimmy-ing in the bike stable to make some room, but i've been meaning to thin the heard some anyhow, so we'll see if i can make enough room for this beast.

im not using that as the title. How about, ride bikes more, read comics more?

2010-01-12T21:00:00.000-08:00

Ride a bike? Quench your thrist and save @meltdowncomics

I dunno if this is gonna work like i think it should, mostly because i'm a caveman and bluntly strike the keyboard with my club, whilst listening to EPMD or Immortal. Because of the aforementioned, im gonna post a pic using my own methods, and not with the methods of simply pressing the "share" button on the meltdown site. If you want to know more about the picture, click on the link. This is going to be kind of a tirade, so get comfy if you plan on reading the whole thing.

This advertisement has 3 points in it i will be addressing individually. These 3 points add up to one concept that is awesome. (1!) ride a bike (2!) to a comic book store (3!) get rewarded/help an extremely noble cause.

First, ride a bike. This is what i'm talking about. Not go with a group, not race, not put on by some trendspeed fixie co-op. Ride. A. Bike. Cruiser? Great. Clapped out nishiki? Awesome. 42 pound motorcycle without an engine that will most likely kill you pedaling uphill. Rad. The bike is such an awesome invention and can benefit just about anybody across the board on an extremely wide spectrum that includes health, environmental improvement, and finance. I'm sorry, if you dont enjoy a good old fasioned bike ride, or dont think a bike can do anything for you, well, maybe you should give it a try. Not willing to give it a try? Grab a ticket and stand in line with the rest of the walking dead that refuse to think outside the box.

Second, comic book store. Brick and freaking mortar. Know where you can get a price better than 10 percent off? teh interwebz! Yes, that's right, you know what else this includes? FREAKING EVERYTHING! Now, am i saying shopping online is bad? No, i do it a couple times a month. Easy. However, i do try to make sure it is an item that is not offered by an actual person with an actual pulse that will actually force me to (.gasp.) interact with another flesh and blood human being. Now, maybe working at a bike shop i am extra sensitive towards this, because it astounds me how people's logic works in this department. I go online. I buy a bike. I take it to somebody who knows what they are doing to put it together. I dont know a freaking thing about it, including weather or not it will fit me or the necessary maintenance that it WILL (YES WILL) need. I break bike (probably because it was a bargain basement piece of crap). I take it to people who assembled it. The bike is either worthless or needs extra money thrown at it to fix it to the tune of at very least 55 bones. That slaps on an extra 120 dollars on top of the cost of the bike (65 to assemble it). Plus shipping. Plus future cost of maintenance. Lamesville. That's the lower end of the spectrum. The high end stuff gets super lame. I could literally go on for hours, but i will round it off with a little anecdote my pops told me. One time when he was first beginning to apprentice as a pipe fitter under my grandpa, the only thing you needed as an apprentice was a pipe wrench. My dad got a bargain basement wrench, not sure where from. His dad took the wrench and said "Where did you get this? How much did it cost you?" My dad explained that it was a bargain. Gramps said to him "Yeah, well whoever sold it to you probably didnt tell you, on this job, we can't afford to work with a bargain..." and he pitched the wrench. I really wish i would have gotten to know my grandpa.

Third. Help a noble cause, get rewarded for doing the right thing. I think people should be more conscious of what they buy/support. My sister in law told me that a fairly liberal area of lawrence boycotted a starbucks because they felt it was choking the business out of the 3 (yeah, i counted) nearby local coffee shops. It should also be mentioned that there was a GAP within a stones throw. Look, you vote with dollars and cents. If people PREFER starbucks, they're gonna go to where they think the product is better. I worked at a coffee shop in a town FULL TO THE BRIM (pun totally intended) with coffee shops including no less than 7 starbucks in a 4 mile radius. We've been out doing them, and Stell would out do 8 more in a 2 mile radius. Know why? The product is way better, also, see the second point. What bugs me is, the GAP went in, and nobody gave a crap. Ok, a coffee shop that is threatening 3 other local shops, or a place that gets clothes sewn by 4 year olds who get paid with a cool dip in the pool after their 19 hour shift. I'm going to go ahead and support the former over the latter.

Still on the third. This particular flyer gives the rider/comic reader a free tibetan tea. Now, i dunno if free tibet tea is a play on words for the free tibet movement, but im going to assume it is. What happened to the tibetan people sucks. Somebody should fight for them. Taking something that isn't yours and just saying "that's the way it goes" cuz you're bigger, sucks and it isn't right. Let me also say i can't put my mind on this plane because i would never be in that position. If somebody came to my apartment complex and said it was taken over by the local governmental municipality, i'd say very simply "Nope." If they came back, i would probably be taken out and shot as an example, like many people in tibet probably were. Death really is not that big a deal. Everybody dies. Everybody so far at least. If somebody said, you can live, but it will have to be on your knees as a victim, again, i would say "Nope." After my death, i would hope people would help those other victimized in my apartment complex, and fight to get it back to the way it was, however, i would definitely not be around to see how it panned out for them. I've lived a good life, if death came for me tonight, i could make peace with that.

And the new sorcerer supreme is....

2010-01-04T20:28:00.000-08:00

YOURS MUTHA EFFIN TRULY!!!!

SNUGGIE FTW!!!!!

Lemme see if i can quote my somewhat disappointed sounding wife. Pretty sure it went something like, "O.K. Here's the deal with the snuggie, you have to fold it and keep it behind the couch when you not us....you know you really DO look like a wizard...."

If santa was in the room, i would cast a spell of 1000 screaming torments on his fat ass. In your mother-effing face santa! You and your bitch ass reindeer! Any time you want to have a plague of bleeding eye-sockets just come on back!

SNUGGIE! SNUGGIE! SNUGGIE!

one of these things just doesn't belong here

2010-01-01T23:22:00.000-08:00

Here's a pic of me from our epic mtb trip today, the first day of the new decade. I think i was trying to make my best "oh shit" face while skidding my rear tire and white knuckling the breaks. That was before i actually HAD to do some of that, no acting required

totally sweet trip. There were 2 highschool kids, who apparently have no respect for fixed gear riding. I derive this mostly from the fact that one of them said, "i actually had respect for you before you told me you ride a fixed gear..." (edit: i dunno if the ellipses is correct, but it's too late to call freeman, the grammar nazi to get confirmation. Maybe i could trade some of my skills as a butler to him and he could just type it for me as i fan him with a palm frawn and feed him grapes one-at-a-time) Also making the list of invitees was Shannon, Jon, Dusty (a.k.a. Dirt McGirt), Dusty's friend Jon, and Dusty's other friend, who's name is not important enough to remember. 8 Total.

Here's a list of the bikes on the trip:

8 inch travel full suspension DH bike
See above
See above
See above
See above
5 inch travel full suspension XC/Trail bike
See above
Hardtail 29" singlespeed

Awesome, as per the reference in the title. Got semi-lost and i lost my cool a bit at the possibility of not making a 2:30 hair appointment and having belated Xmas celebration with mom. All worked out. Got to where i needed to be no sweat and right on schedule. Except for the sweat part. I was sweating like a fat white man at an office party dance-off.

Also some people got ticks. I didn't. Pretty sure if i got one that would be the end of mountain biking as we know it for yours truly. It also might be the end of life as we know it for yours truly. I think my freshly shorn gams might have been the difference, as i was the only part-homosexual on the ride.

i think i get what henry's saying

2009-12-30T09:06:00.001-08:00

Watched sherlock holmes yesterday. It was Awesome. Not your average everyday Sherlock Holmes and Watson, for certain, but who would expect such from Guy Ritchey. Lots of wizardry and magic, so you know i was into that.

Got to hang out in OC. Talk about being elbow to elbow with 750 assholes. Not just during the movie. Pretty much all day. At Plum Cafe, the best breakfast restaurant in the WORLD, while my mother in law was taking pictures, she set her camera down, and some rather dainty fellow asked fairly rudely if the camera was on him, recording him. Are you kidding me? I can say with my better-than-rudimentary knowledge of celebrity persona, this dude was nobody special. After i laughed and said no, i agonized over not saying, "Who the hell are you anyways? Also, why would i want to record you eating breakfast? Also, what are you going to do if i am? PLEASE try and do something with my camera, i'll make that coffee mug a permanent part of your body." In general, i dont enjoy confrontation, but with the dillusional and entitled, i make exceptions.

today: 3-10x70 bent over rows/3-10x35 snatches (each side, in succession)

im starting a liiiitle early

2009-12-21T09:00:00.000-08:00

Im making a new years goal for myself.

By the turn of 2011, i want to:

be able to clean and press 2x 53 lb kettlebells 10 times.

be able to make it all the way to the signs at the top of crafton seated on my 1x speed.

Finish all my laps at the 24 hour in under and hour on my 1x speed

On the first one, i begin my regimen today:

3x 10 deadlifts w/ 2x35 lbs
3x 10 cleans w/ 2x35 lbs
3x 10 jerk w/ 2x35 lbs

i think its giving me.... the fear

2009-12-14T19:19:00.000-08:00

Pretty frustrated. What do you do when the dude who signs your checks tells you to work super hard, pick up the pace, and do it with a smile; and oh, by the way, in 2 months you probably wont have the job anymore.

I also don't take kindly to the fact that when the belt needs to be tightened at one of my jobs, i'm the first to get the chop, because i work harder than everybody else there, being as i have 2 jobs.

maybe this is God telling me i need to beef up the old education. We'll see.

the gay warehouse worker on the office...

2009-12-11T10:48:00.000-08:00

sorta looks like Dr. Norman Carter.

that's all.

tofu madness

2009-12-09T19:03:00.000-08:00

i haven't really noticed any change, other than a little cranky-ness, from my recently adopted dietary plan. i did have some lentil soup from brisket's downtown that was off the chain though. Most under-rated restaurant in redlands.

Along with the increased aggression has come winter cold. i dont have it as bad as Walt, the dude building my bike as referenced here , however, for a california native sub 50 is pretty rough. This also might explain my crankyness of late. Hasn't cut into my riding though, surprisingly enough. Im using thom's demo bike which is one of the new fangled 6-series madones. Pretty cool for a plastic bike.

Along with the drop in temperature has come my desire for a snuggie. I know what you're thiking. Nerd. You're right, but i've never tried to deny it. I want a snuggie so bad! On recovery duty after turner tried to kill me and 8 other dudes on saturday, my blanket was just plain not cutting it. Only a snuggie could provide the solace/freedom to remain cozy whilst playing video games or reading comic books.

Along with the longing for a snuggie has come the desire to cast evil spells on my cats and create some sort of mythical hybrid creature. Although Stubbs already looks like a hybrid bulldog-chipmunk, im looking for something a little more badass. At any rate, here's a behemoth video to satiate any and all desire to cast an evil spell or two. At lease stave it off for a bit, anyways. I think this video best captures why evil will always conquer over good: because good is dumb.

be healthy

2009-12-03T19:33:00.001-08:00

So, for the next month or so, i am going to be playing around with my diet.

People say when they go vegetarian, that they feel so much healthier and full of energy and and and etc. etc. etc. Now i think that this is partially placebo effect/bullshit that people say to make you believe what they believe, however, I have done a 6 year stint as a vegan, so i feel like i know how to do it right. I also know how to do it wrong as per the reference i am given by a great many of the vegans i know. If you consume rods whipped topping, or a little debbie donut, or the like in the name of it being coincidentally vegan, you may be standing up for the animals, but i hope you can find one that will stand up for you. If i saw people shoveling garbage into a chicken pen for a chicken to eat, i would stop them, and i freaking hate chickens. Such is the same reason i tell people who shove huge amounts of soy protein and hydrogenated oils into their mouths "hey, that suff would do you more good if you shoved it up your ass..."

If there is something behind this (and you veggie readers of this blog, please, comment) and i can feel better, or have more energy by eating a vegetarian diet, i'm gonna do so. After all, i love fruits and veggies. If there is a fruit or vegetable out there i don't like, i can always find a way to prepare it so i do.

chopper dropped by the shop do get his bike wrenched on. man. i'll let the pics do the talking.

"ive been having a lot of flats lately!" No shit?

"there's a grinding sound every time i steer at somewhat low speeds, like around that corner by the park on sunset..." that's cause half the park is embedded in your head tube sir."having a little trouble shifting lately...." that may be due to the fact that the ant magnet you call a bottom bracket shell is a giant sugar cube, sir.
chopper, im just wondering HOW you wiped your ass with your bottom bracket.

Now i'm going to hunt down and kill a falafel sandwich.

be healthy

Grand stolen bike inquisition!

2009-11-24T07:25:00.000-08:00

So this week, we'll call him jay (a cop), reaped the benefits of my bike superherodom. Not by way of wrench (he's actually quite capable as far as mechanics), but due to my sleuthing skills.

After my mountain bike got stolen i approached jay to talk some shop when he came into the bike shop. i asked him about what the police could do for me, he promptly told me in the same boat as him, due to his bike getting stolen out of his garage around 2 months ago.

Fast forward to monday last week. Dude comes in to box up his project one madone. Hand build wheels. Odd. 140mm stem on a 54 cm frame. Odd. Flat black custom project one color. Odd. Never seen this dude at crit practice or on raincross or....well, i've never seen this dude. Again, Odd.

I search the annuals of my bike crime database. The bike sticks out as possibly jay's. I call jay. Sure as crap, he comes down and identifies the bike.

I felt so vindicated. Even if it wasn't my bike i found i still feel like i had vanquished a foe. Like i had punched satan square in the face.

here's a picture of captain america choking hitler so you can share in my feeling.

some worm stole my bike.

2009-10-18T17:11:00.000-07:00

as well as a wheelset that i already had sold. Broke into my apartment in a 2-hour window of time, in broad daylight, used some bolt-cutters, and opened the lock on my garage door, and lifted the stuff inside, left most of it, just took my 2008 stumpjumper ht and a powertap wheelset. bastards. i'm sor of afraid of what i will do if i catch them.

1 man wrecking crew

2009-10-07T07:35:00.000-07:00

ok, it's more like 3 or 4 man, but we are tearing apart the bike shop. Growing tired of a person, who does not employ me, telling me what and how to do, my job. Hopefully it will all be over soon.

Enjoying the new dude at the shop, john. I'm not 100 percent convinced that he likes me though. I'm sure he'll grow to like me, cuz hey, i'm pretty awesome.

Went to long beach comic con. Bought a LOT of key issues. Too good a deal not to pass up. Also, good to see that Geoff Johns spends some time around the weight pile. So man sloths at comic conventions. I think my personal fave issue i bought was:

In this issue, they tie, although, it's clearly barry allen being cool about it, because he smokes superman at least twice later on.

I've grown rather fond of the flash, who is in fact the worlds fastest man, which is kind of ironic coming from the worlds SLOWEST man. Speaking of slow, cross kicks of for myself this weekend. Getting ready to do some hurting.

kick in the door...

2009-09-26T09:02:00.000-07:00

today, in the middle of my post ride cooldown, after an inspirational ride, with one of the the I.E.'s most inspirational team's most inspirational members, andrea hensler, i decided i need to work with the blessings God has given me. Blogging.

I have been sitting in on this whole blog thing for a while, while actual strong riders like chopper are straight up pulling train. So sit up a spell chop, let me take a turn.

Really enjoyed riding the bike today. Really. Only for like 2 hours, but it was great. Gonna keep the train-a-rolling with a ride tomorrow, and the redlands cyclocross happy hour on tuesday, and the beginning of my cross exploits in irvine. Loving it.

Now, being a member of a team with the notorious chopper, i have learned lots. Tune in here once a week for some words of wisdom from old chop chop.

pain in the neck

2009-09-05T07:46:00.000-07:00

This week has been a nightmare. First, i got a cold in the middle of the hottest patch of the season. I'm pretty much over it now, but it was definitely raging at the beginning of the week> Then, just when the cold started giving out, i woke up with a huge pain in my neck. The old "slept on it wrong". Well, this is sore neck day #4. I think it may be time to get a new pillow.

new bike

2009-08-27T08:26:00.000-07:00

so i got a new bike.

i know wht you're thinking, how many does THAT make, but this one is slightly different. This one has a grand total of 17$ invested. Its an old P.O.S. gitane that got donated with a rear freewheel wheel and a crank, seat, seatpost, headset and stem. I scavanged the rest from my bone box at work. only purchases were chain and brake, totaling 17$. I think i'm gonna give it to the wife, tho it is a tad big for her. What the hey, it's better than spending a piss load of money on a bike that doesn't get used, like many richbitch bike shop patrons. Riding the bike is SUPER fun, and has resparked my longing to ride. Think i'll be dusting off the 1x speed cross and go for a little ridezies this evening.

i really need to keep up on this thing.

2009-08-18T21:09:00.000-07:00

so lately, here's the run down:

Comic books. Lots of 'em. Pretty stoked on Blackest Night, captain america:reborn, and hulk and daredevil.

Tried my hand at doing merch for a band. I would rather have been kicked square in the nuts, so i welched out on half of the agreement. 's ok though cuz i got virtually none of what i was told i would get, so is it really welching?

Riding my bike? Nooooooooooot exactly. I've been riding it for transportation. But as far as suited up and hammering out a couple of intervals? Nope. Do i feel bad about it now? Nope. Will i feel bd about it when i'm weeking softly in the shower after turning in a 19th place finish for every race during cross season. Probably.

I have been enjoying tuesdays off. It's sweet. Looking forward to Interbike and some quality vacation time.

What else? Cut the piss out of my finger at work, and i think my finger might be turning into a zombie finger. That's pretty sweet.

i tried to tell the photographer that it violated my tribal religious beliefs

2009-07-20T21:07:00.000-07:00

but they took the picture anyways.

Im sort of a big deal in the bike service game, you might have noticed. Yes, when you hear a creaking in your bottom bracket, i will personally call your ass out by getting you to come out into the africa heat to make the sound for me in your wool slacks and penny loafers, as pictured here:

and god forbid you drag me all the way outside to make the noise for me and your bike "isn't making it out here....wierd."

then i have to explain to you that the $250.00 you spent to shave the 68 grams on your ti-spindled pedals, may well be the reason for the noise seeing as you way 195 pounds and the pedals have a 158 pound rider weight limit. How about you do an extra lap on sunset once a week for a year and save yourself a whole 5 pounds, for free!

Training and technical advice. Now that's what i call service.

's is how i feel after i ride and kickbox the same day...

2009-07-08T21:25:00.000-07:00

at least im the one doing the hitting in kickboxing...

here's a week recap for you.

2009-07-02T21:01:00.001-07:00

started doing this...

ended doing this...

i'm starting to get pissed again.

crits

2009-06-25T23:17:00.000-07:00

are the pits.

that is all.

KrAcckkkkooOOW!

2009-05-31T17:02:00.001-07:00

I think i am going to name my new bike the punisher due to the painful nature of cross and it's black and white color scheme. Also, i think im gonna peel off th headbadge and put a punisher skull on there. Also, i'm gonna look into changing the "GARY FISHER" to "THE PUNISHER", what the hey, all i have to do is change the gary f part.

2 days off!

2009-05-25T21:01:00.000-07:00

that's right, 2!

Epic rides on both days. Thanks genius feature on my ipod. That little feature shaves off the 20 minutes i spend before a ride making a playlist, or waiting thru the boring parts of albums while i ride. All bases are covered with that one, aptly named, feature.

Today i spent memorial day at a sushi restaurant yelling at the waiter. Went to josh's house to watch the fights/ultimate warrior documentary (awesome). Then watched the steve-o documentary. What junk show that dude was. Stoked to see him clean, but, as a sober individual, i still don't get the whole self defeated "i'm a total loser, and that's just how it is" aspect that all NA or AA people tend to have. Don't get me wrong, if it gets you sober, i'm all for it, but, can't one be a little more positive about the person who you are now as opposed to how wrecked the person you were was? It just doesn't strike me as that type of organization.

Banged out another half an hour at tempo at home and now im too spun to sleep. Pisser.

KA-BLAM!

2009-05-18T19:48:00.000-07:00

so, this is the beginning of the 4 month long gut-check that i like to refer to as period training. Most people are in the thick of it, i am starting my base mileage and resistance training. That's cuz i'd way rather kick total ass in the cross season than any other race season in existence.

Got my bike and promptly put 'er on a diet. 21 pounds out of the box (YIKES). now i got it down to just a scooch under 18. yay.

Let me just say, i have never been a weight weenie (truth), and i have never even weighed any of the other bikes i own (also truth). That should give you some idea how serious i am about kicking some ass this cross season. I decided to keep it real and get a steel cross bike this year come hell or high water, so right away i was nervous about the weight. Also, i don't feel as if i have committed any weight weenie specific crimes. No booster kits with 27 different ti and lightweight alloy fasteners. Minimal carbon parts, and the ones i do have i bought on the cheap (150 gram seatpost 35 bones!). My main point of contention was the wheelset.

Let me start off, for those of you who don't know me, by saying i hate shimano. However, this year i decided to forgo the gluing of 90 dollar tubulars, and try out this new fangled tubeless that the kids seem to be so hip on these days. It seems like a good way to run whatever tire pressure i want, get a sweet ride quality, and very pragmatic to boot. In the world of tubeless road stuff, we have shimano, campagnolo, and fulcrum to choose from. If you run anything that campy makes, off road, it voids the warranty. My shop doesn't deal in fulcrum. Sorta thinned the herd of choices so to speak.

Now, hutchinson MAKES a cross specific tire. Could i wait for us to get one in? Hell no! That's what stan's is for! So i opted to do a stan's kit on my new dura-ace/bontrager jones cx combo. Took a little cajoling for the rear tire to seat, but the front was very cooperative. In order to get everything sealed properly, one has to use a high pressure that is not conducive to ride with no tube. Of course one back's off the tire pressure before one tikes this tubless setup for one's maiden voyage.

Well, not this one. I got about 3 blocks and, well, just read the title of this post.

also...

2009-05-12T21:20:00.000-07:00

i have reached my quota of one sissy-rock band to get into for the year. Band of horses.

for those of you keeping score that's

2007-Jesu
2008-crime in stereo
2009-band of horses

the worst part about any bike...

2009-05-12T21:17:00.001-07:00

is waiting for it to show up. Wheels too. The worst part about wheels is waiting for them to show up. And headsets.

gettin shat done

2009-05-08T13:42:00.000-07:00

heres the rundown:

Cut Andrews hair
Sent out the Xbox
sent out the ebay stuff
gonna talk to dorthy wong later about putting on a cross race(s) in socal
bought some brakes
picked up my once errant keys
ate lunch
scoped the sitch at gotschalks (snuggies for 15 bones? sign me up)
Puttin more stuff up on fleabay
cutting johson's hair

and my reward for all of this?

BOOM!

Beyond Hypothermia.

2009-04-27T08:16:00.000-07:00

let me just start out by saying, 24 hour races are intense. I don't mean it in the keanu-reeves point-break super-bro sense of the word, i mean it in its most literal and real sense.

as it appears in the miriam webster dictionary;

intense
1.existing in an extreme degree - check
2.marked by or expressive of great zeal, energy, determination, or concentration - check
3.exhibiting strong feeling or earnestness of purpose; deeply felt - check

It was a 5 man team, which i can see why has its own category. Any more and you can organize things to maximize sleep and stuff. Any less would be like, what's the point, i should've done this solo.

Fist lap i was a total spastic. This should be no surprise to anybody who has seen me ride a mountain bike, but i still got in under an hour (my goal for the weekend). I saw some dude who looked like the trail reached up and punched him in the genitals and throat. He did NOT finish the first lap. So that was encouraging.

Second lap i decided to take it easy. I wanted to go for a super even keel pace and not spaz out on any of the climbs, as my technical skills are not up to par and 3 of the climbs i would say are above par. It went really well. No falling, couple of times i had to walk, but im starting to get it, which is good because its getting dark.

Third lap was crazyness. It was in the 30's. Let me just say it was a new experience. I don't ride at usually night, and i don't usually ride a mountain bike, so, you do the math. Thanks to Joy tho, for hooking me up with the light. Combining that with the light i already had as a helmet light made SUCH a difference. Still at this point the downhill sections were sketchy as hell. Completely rutted out and several lines to choose from one of which was the correct one. Not easy at night.

4th lap. Pure insanity. 4 a.m. Shadows were jumping out at me. My mind was playing tricks on me. All i could think of were fear and loathing quotes:

"I hate to say this, but this place is getting to me. I think I'm getting the Fear."

"24 hours of adrenaline is what the whole hip world would be doing Saturday nights if the Nazis had won the war. This was the Sixth Reich."

"A drug person can learn to cope with things like seeing their dead grandmother crawling up their leg with a knife in her teeth. But no one should be asked to handle this trip."

"I was right in the middle of a fucking reptile zoo, and somebody was giving booze to these goddamn things. Won't be long now before they tear us to shreds."

"Jesus, bad waves of paranoia, madness, fear and loathing - intolerable vibrations in this place. Get out. The weasels were closing in. I could smell the ugly brutes."

"That's fucking machine guns man, they're firing at us!"

"this bicycle belongs to the world bank! That money goes to ITALY!"

The crazy thing about lap 4 is, i could actually see myself handling better, and getting up the climbs with little skateboard scoots as opposed to walking.

5th lap. I was done. I had desire in me, but the legs were simply not there. For the interim in between my 2 consecutive laps i was just trying to get to sleep. Not enough food consumed, water was frozen, moral was low. That was the craziest lap of them all, because even though i was annihilated and defeated mentally, i still got the lap done in an hour flat. Crazy! My skills have definitely improved.

pics soon.

on the eve of the eve....

2009-04-22T19:47:00.000-07:00

of our 24 hour race.

Me, sergio, andy, joe, and, jason are about to head up to idyllwild on friday for the 2-4. Pretty excited. I've never raced a mountain bike before, and this seems like it'll be fun. Due to my uncanny ability to shake it, i have scored us sponsorships with both Tifosi sunglasses and Stell Coffee and tea, which, if you know my illustrius history with the distributors of said sunglasses and coffee, wasn't hard. Still tho, free gear is sweet.

The race doesn't begin til saturday at noon, but we're gonna go up early and go for a little night ride. Should be fun. THe menu for the 2-4 looks to be: burgers, carne asada tacos, bagels, cereal, and various endurance fuels. I'm doing celebrity mountain biker and revered educator Joy D.'s hair tomorrow, perhaps she can educate me on more effective fueling.... looking at the list right now i'm thinking i can bring better items to the table.

If i'm not back by 4 on sunday, call the police.

holy hell

2009-04-17T14:04:00.000-07:00

east bound and down, so funny. I laughed til i drooled.

BAT FIGHT with Will Ferrell from Will Ferrell

Am I Demon?

2009-04-12T18:21:00.000-07:00

I think this is pretty much the inspiration for my hair. I think this is the direction it's going reguardless just based on how its growing. It fits as well as socks on a rooster that besides growing my hair i ride bikes. Still though, if danzig just showed up at a race, stomped everybody and vanished, i would be pretty stoked. That'll be the goal i guess.

FACT

2009-04-10T19:56:00.000-07:00

This dude gets LAID.

Vicente Fernandez is the man. I think i would like to go see him, but i wouldn't understand crap tht went on/what he said. That'd suck.

Crafton today. Crafton tomorrow. Good training. Geared up for team lazer wolf/24 hour race/camping extraviganza. Might get to break in my new tent/sleeping bag next weekend for A.J.'s astronomy trip. I'm thinking LOTS of hot chocolate. Maybe marshmalows as well. Could be good. Could be great.

time to get bloody

2009-04-07T08:20:00.001-07:00

Do i have a problem with overconfidence or am i just plain dim witted when i never factor in or consider eating crap on mountain bike rides?

Went to hulda crooks and up the good old jedi. Ate some shite about 4 times on the way down. Nothing bad, just slightly skinned up and it was mostly due to the fact that those XTR pedals i have are death traps. Definately going back to eggbeaters.

Still tho, i never even thing about how often i eat it until im getting up off the ground going, "oh yeah, i remember this..."

Also, hulda crooks was SUPER sandy and loose and i only have one light, which was not enough.

any ways, i ate some crap but i had a blast.

time to get dirty

2009-04-05T22:40:00.000-07:00

so the mountain bike dilemma is done.

And there she is. At least this time i got what i wanted, for the most part. If i was going to get a singlespeed i wanted a rig 29er. If i was going to get a geared bike i wanted a hardtail 26 in bike.

Dude who owned and rode this bike for a grand total of 5 rides, went OTB and broke his back. What a pisser. Not for me tho cuz he got rid of it on the fire sale tip. Hopefully the bike has excersized all of the crash demons out of it. The bike is far from stock with crossmax wheels which i will be working in a tubeless setup (adam, watch your hands), and a fox RLC fork. I don't really like fox stuff, but everybody else seems to, so i think i will be selling this fork and getting myself a sid. Also it has an XTR cassette, xt crank, and xtr pedals. Gonna be getting rid of the xtr pedals too. I dont know if i like them, i dont wanna know if i like them, i'm used to crank brothers from cross season, so that's what im doing.

I think i'm gonna start slow by doing 6 laps at the 24 hour in san jacinto.

Did i mention i have the handling skills of a thumbless orangutan?

huffy

2009-04-03T19:46:00.000-07:00

i am obsessed with huffy bikes.

First off. Huffy= so much cooler a name for a bike than so many bike manufacturer's names who try to sound cool/tough. Specailized? Lame. That's a description, not a name. Trek? Lame. I still think spock when i think trek. Cannondale? Ok, cannondale gets a pass because of the train on the fron and the use of "cannon" in the name. Still Huffy for the win.

Second off. Ever watch a movie that is so bad that it is awesome a la evil dead or strange brew. That's how i feel about huffy bikes. It amazes me that you can buy a full mountain bike with more gear combo's than my road bike for a mere 99 dollars. First words outta your mouth are prolly gonna be something like "but the quality dude..." Shut your suck hole. It still blows my mind that that grouping of like, nuts, bolts, cables, levers, a freewheeling mechanism, and steel is under 100 dollars and it can be fixed to ride enough to get you around town (i know, i preform that miracle on the regular).

Third, like it or not, i feel like huffy has a more solid history than even Schwinn bikes in my opinion. Sure, schwinn had its heyday, a paramount with nuovo record and mavic seups still gives me a raging semi, however, schwinn sold the eff out, so they are turncoat bastards and can get bent. Huffy has always been shot. Lessin you count this pic of bob roll on a huffy in paris roubaix.

That's anther thing, i dont give a rats ass how many of his bikes ben serotta put a huffy headbadge on, them shits was a huffy. Davis Phinney rode a huffy, Bob Roll rode a huffy.

Also, today, one of my favorite passtimes went down at the bike shop. Huffy tossing. Eddie chucked the piss out of this huffy that somebody was donating (good luck finding replacement parts for that mother...). It was awesome, but more for the hangtime than the distance. But it was still awesome. There needs to me more of this. ALso some of you out there in blogger land might be like, "oh steve thats effed, you say you love huffys but you chuck em and break em and crap" Put a sock in it. Thats the best part about a huffy. After all is said and done, its still some bike that science cant figure out why it runs for a total distibuting cost of 12 bucks. NO matter how abused, how used, how thrashed, how annihilated a huffy is, its like a roach. At the dawn of the Nuclear apocolypse, there will be 2 things left. Huffys and the zombies who ride them.

Im seriously considering getting a huffy tattoo.

FML.

2009-03-15T18:53:00.000-07:00

for those of you who dont know, or for those of you who are bummed out about your life right now, and are of the persuasion that misery indeed loves company. www.fmylife.com.

in other FML news: this weekend was the 5th annual "feel my legs, i'm a racer" race. For those who are into the whole brevity thing, it is sometimes written as FML. How appropriate. Here are a few shots i took with my phone when i wasn't cramping, gasping for air, or bleeding from the eyes/anus.

this is the second climb. I think it was called eldridge. See that spec waaaay up there between the trees that kind of looks like road. That is road. The same road i'm on when i took this photo. On one of the times when i tacked back and forth, i stopped because my front wheel came off the ground. I unclipped and it was painfully obvious i was going to have to go over to a neighboring driveway if i wanted to make it the rest of the way up that lame excuse for a street.

I dont know how to rotate photo's because i am one half cave-man, and one half awesome. This is the top of the first climb

This is the famous fargo. 30% grade. Yes, 30. It is the steepest paved road west of the mississippi. No. Just no.

this is the descent after what i think was the 4th climb. Im pretty sure this is the one where an effing BUS bottomed out and was stuck up at the crest. As in, it had to wait for a tow truck because it was without use of a couple of wheels/drive shaft.

It was fun and it was my good friend sasha's birthday. She's sweet, but her living situation is a bit less than sweet. She's getting kicked out of her house, and the roommate who owns the house, (the one doing the kicking) without saying a word, lurked out of the shadows and into the room where i was sleeping, looked at me (right when i was about to get to sleep) looked around, and crept back into the shadows. Even with all the physical tortures i went thru this weekend, that was by far the low point.

Good food after the race. Good game of kickball afterward where i'm pretty sure i threatened physical violence against every member of the opposite sex/opposite team (hey, i did my part to rep the IE at an LA race). All in all good clean fun. I need to climb more. A lot more. I think i'm gonna do ride around the bear, and breathless agony. FML.

In other FML news, today was the celebration of my 31st birthday. FML.

first 400 takes it

2009-03-08T23:14:00.000-07:00

when will you take me home lord?

2009-03-02T22:46:00.001-08:00

Today:

6:30, wake up, breakfast, coffee and email check
7:30, hit he road for climbing intervals. Climbing intervals suck even if you are good at climbing. I am not good at climbing. So there's that.
9:00, hit the shower
9:45, arrive at work
12:30, ENJOY a lunch of low fat chili and two slices of bread.
5:20, PANIC when i realize i should have clocked out 10 minutes ago and should be on my way to welding class. Will have to make up the time on the road.
5:50, realized i'm 10 minutes away from class, plus or minus accounting for lights
5:52, blow light #1
5:54, blow light #2
5:59, arrive at class
6:45, start welding in the horizontal position. The steel, not my body.
9:10, arrive at auggies coffee shop for the sin of spin monday night ride
9:20, leave for the scavenger hunt
9:52, arrive at the UofR late, BUT the only dude with all the items.
10:05, say high to scott manning as he is strolling on state street with 2 acquaintences i do not know. We both do our best kayle leogrande impression
10:15, arrive at home. Begin recovery.

i smell so bad right now, it's attrocious. Feet and the sweat accumulated in all the activites post 9:00 shower. I'm re-thinking every cotton item i have on.

im gonna go lay down now.

If i haven't seen you in a while, now you get why.

i think this skit pretty well sums up trader joe's at 1 in the afternoon on a weekday.

2009-02-27T00:21:00.001-08:00

hair growing competition....

2009-02-13T13:26:00.000-08:00

is officially getting outta hand...

went to the doctor for the fist time in 32 years today....

upper respritory infection. F.M.L. Now i remember why its been so long since my last doctor visit.

copied from red asphalt...

2009-02-07T09:43:00.000-08:00

for some reason i posted it there...

why is british racing green the new hot color?

How is it that this color came to be? I can remember 3-4 years back, the color in question used to be forest green, or some thing of that nature (pun intended). Now everything that has that darker than normal green, is this british racing color.

What erks the hell out of me about this is....
what the hell is so british about green? I mean, i guess technically, ireland is a part of "great brittan", however, i feel like green is pretty represetative of JUST irealnd, and not ALL of Great Brittan.
What KIND of racing are we talking here. This would put me high in the running for worlds longest post if i were to post every type of race that can be had.
Is it EVERY race? The answer to that is no. I've seen brittish teams race. They dont wear green. Unless they're from ireland. In that case, see the first bulletpoint.
if its a brittish race, are all participants forced to adorn THAT color? How the hell could you tell who the winner is, if everybody in the field had the same color green on?
why does every a-hole have to suggest it whenever green is brought up "no, its not lime green, its sort of a brittish racing green" or "im thinking chrome lugs, white bartape, and a brittish racing green headset"
Whenever it is suggested, the suggestor says it in a matter-of-fact sort of manner, like everybody should know the answers to the swarm of questions that the "brittish racing" part of the color brings up. Im willing to bet everybody is as perplexed as i am, but have just accepted it and act like they know (a social tendency that i have always LOATHED)

When i start frame buiding, i am specifically going to to make a norweigan racing pink frame just to piss people like me off, or to see if it can get the lames to make it trendy.

newz

2009-02-04T08:54:00.000-08:00

on june 11th, i will be a certified welder

on july 19th, i will be a yamaguchi certified frame builder

it looks like i may start training on the track

all of the above makes me a very busy boy right now.

four wheel frusteration

2009-01-27T22:08:00.000-08:00

k, so, i usually dont get pissed and rant on here about people of the motorcar persuation, but today i reached an epiphany. The epiphany is this: The worst part about my commute to riverside cyclery, is the asshats that drive next to me.

i say next to me, but sometimes i think the goal is to go over me. Freaking people. Today i was nigh more than a mile from my house, and i STOPPED (as in came to a full stop) at a stop sign. Now to my right, there was a large van, so i can understand that the woman in the red car i am going to speak of didnt see me. After the large van cleared the intersection, i began my forward progress, i think the woman in the red car was just completing her stop. She was turning right from the same lane as the big van. So, i, not going at a blazing speed, was taking advantage of my right of way, until the woman, not looking at me, pulled out in front of me, and i steered quickly behind her. At this point in the story, im still not mad. Then when i sit in behind her so she could maybe recognize that she nearly killed me, she does the old "crazy ivan" and slams her breaks. It was at this point, while i was stearing around her i saw this sticker.

It was at this point, i felt i had to point out the hypocrisy of a christianity sticker on a car who was driven by a woman who just TRIED TO COMMIT MURDER. Because she had to stop to let her CHILD out at the ELEMETARY school (great values being passed down here in case you aren't noting the sarcasm) i was able to catch up to her and shout thru her window "I like your christian sticker..... its really COOOOL!!!!" She honked and got madder. WWJD? Clearly not what master J would have done.

Then on the way home, on a section where the bike path is totally effed, i was taking up MAYBE half a foot of the regular traffic lane. MAYBE. A couple of total elephants in their beat up chrysler honked and flipped me off, even though i did NOT impede their trip, and they did not slow down a single MPH from the flow of traffic. I guess they were pissed that i have such sweet legs.

the road from riverside to redlands is wrought with chotches.

base mileage

2009-01-18T07:53:00.000-08:00

normally, its pretty boring. no plan. no pace. no fun.

not yesterday. Me and a big posse from the iefixed.net board, rolled down to tom'f farm like gangbusters. Josh did some sprints. Pretty sure i could have won, but:

a) it would have been like beating up a blind kid

b) all my track setups have tubulars, which would be a total bummer to lug out there and

c)Im not racing. When i race its against other people who race not a bunch of urban cowboys in rolled up jeans.

high point of the day was josh missing first place by about 3cm. Low point of the day was ralphIE and aaron going down on the train tracks in corona. I wish none of it had happened. However, it is hard to feel too sorry forsomebody who runs no breaks, and no helmets. Kinda know what you signed up for. Anyways, it looks like everybody is a tad banged up, but otherwise, OK.

lots of fun, cant wait to do it again.

back to carbon, and training with power

2009-01-08T20:44:00.000-08:00

After puting it off for month or so, i have finally made a decision on the 2009 steve-bike.

Specialized roubaix pro,

full campy record 11,

S0metimes handbuilt wheels with record hub front, powertap rear, open pr0 rims

sometimes mavic kryrum elites

sometimes flashpoints

also, im waiting on the carbon speed-limit brakes, by bontrager. Light and sweet, and i like Greg Johnson too much to not suppory his trek peddaling endeavors.

as per the above reference, i have gone back to training with power with a powertap that, along with my rollers, is on its way from minnesota. It's actually been long enough that i dont think i will be dreading it. Plus its a wireless setup on other-than a chicago metro phonebook weight wheel setup.

that been said. Tired of japan's answer to hiroshima? Ready to ride quality italian components? Buy my old record 10-speed stuff.

creeping up on a month...

2009-01-04T18:00:00.000-08:00

...since my last post. Riding a lot. Going pretty well, but, obviously, i need to ride more. Will be a lot easier when i get my rollers in. Matt Freeman was voted off the island a few weeks back. Good riddance says I. Who the hell does he think he is? Shows up. Organizes a ride. Gets cold. He leaves. Pretty sure that as they say is that for tuesday nights. The nerve of some people.

On a serious note, my hair is getting A: long and B: sweet. As usual i am sticking to a strict diet of metal and hard rock from the 70's and 80's. So i am currently trying to make the transition to clean-cut, respectable athlete, to long haired, hessian....athlete. In related news, i think i might also grow a lemmy mustache.

new lease on 'cross

2008-12-08T09:18:00.000-08:00

Yesterday i went to the cross race in palmdale. I though nobody would be there, and the field was smaller, but it was not the smallest. I decided i was going to stay with the front group, come hell or high water. I did.

most of the races i have been doing, i sort of take a ticket and stand in line, and end up where i end up.

not this one. I raced my ass off. I picked off 2 riders, and i was literally 2 seconds behind 4th at the finish.

For the first time this season, i didnt settle in, and i raced. For the first time this season, i was really happy with my results. Plus i beat that dude that barely beat me at both the muckenthaller and oceanside. Like, i beat him like he owed me money. I wasn't gonna wait for the end for him to out run me this time.

what can i say? It felt good.

now i wanna race more.

a fair and accurate comparison...

2008-12-03T09:22:00.000-08:00

my night light...

Trevor Walton's night light

trevor, if you're reading this, you will get my eye lesion doctor bills soon.

emmessjee

2008-12-01T09:12:00.000-08:00

Notice the ingredients. See where it says "spices". I will bet cash money that MSG is the main "spice" in this wonderful soy log.

I think, on this the 10th anniversary of the vegan thanksgiving that we have been taking part of since the first one at my crappy apartment, i will be abstaining from all further vegan feasting.

pretty much in a general sort of way, vegan food wrecks me. Im not talking about nuts and berries and veggies and stuff. Im talking about fake vegan meat. I cant say for sure it has MSG in it, but i can say for sure that MSG also gives me the same symptoms, which include but are not limited to:

itching
fever
paranoia
hallucination
logy-ness

Every time i go to a cheap all u can eat place or a vegan feast, i freak the eff out. Then in this case i was dozing off all the next day.

soy is satan.

this morning i gave thanks for bikes.

2008-11-27T10:10:00.001-08:00

today was the first in what im sure will be a long standing tradition for me in the thanksgiving morning mtb ride.

It was so much fun.

Pictures were taken, but it may take me a while to round them up.

highlights include: Johnson beating the piss out of Sergio's wheel, Stell coffee and bagels at the trailhead, Riding with a bunch of people i have never ridden with, Johnson passing me at warp speed on the descent, chit chatting about leadville with adam and post ride chill sesh afterward.

bummed that sergio taco'd his wheel. Hopefully we can pull some warranty shenanigans.

Good clean fun despite how muddy i got.

"Beer me that new front wheel!!"

2008-11-23T22:52:00.000-08:00

Every time (including the time i rode 75 miles) i have gone to a cross race, i have had an extra front wheel. Or at very least had one lined up to borrow from sombody in the wheel pit. I have not gotten a flat yet. Kind of. I did develop a slow leak of some type in my front wheel. Its a vittoria sew up on there.

Now, before you accuse me of name dropping, let me finish.

I had a little of the tufo brand tire sealant, which i assumed was sort of a universal slime/fix-a-flat type solution to my problems. It is not. John Rubcic must have also thought it was ok, because when i explained to him that the course of action i planned to take was to use said sealant on my slow leak ridden tire, he gave an affirmative, shouldnt-be-a-problem type of response.

Oh how wrong we both were.

Apparently, the stuff in the tufo sealant is made to galvanize butyl rubber, which is what most tubes are made of. not vittorias. Those are made of latex. Apparently does it not only NOT work on latex, it dissolves it.

Unfortunately the situation came to a head just like you think it might about 50 meters into my race, when my front end felt a little squishy, then promptly washed out in the very first hair pin turn. I yelled out a cuss or equally ignorant word of frustration (i can be very colorful when im pissed), reached down and pinched my tire, which was holding about 5 psi at this point.

What bummer man. Of course i had no wheel in the pit, and once i found lisa crowe and matt breyer, who were glad to hook me up with a new wheel, i was just PAST the wheel pit and would have had to do another painfully slow lap on my mavic reflex rim, laced masterfully with 16 guage double butted DT swiss spokes, to a high flange phil wood track hub*. I just took the dnf and chalked it up to Odin being angry with me for going to see wicked after the race. As well he should be.

*due to a contractual obligation, the above subject must also add that this blog post was brought to you by arrowhead orthopedic, dominoes pizza, Padgetts Service Team Of Proffesionals, and in no way reflects the quality of service or product offered by the fine people at Redlands/Riverside Cyclery USA.

the cycling illuminati...

2008-11-15T22:04:00.000-08:00

i was informed on friday, by a P.E. teacher who will remain un-named (we'll call her Roy Birkson) that she was impressed (although by the look on her face i think she meant annoyed) by the group i had been on a ride with the previous evening. As to weather she might happen upon a future similar ride, she seemed even more annoyed and quickly disengaged from conversation.

Im not fast. If i was in the story of the tortoise and the hare, i would be a distant 3rd.

I have the bike handling skills of a cataract stricken, thumbless orangutan.

If i have an asset to my cycling game, i think its lasting power. I have no problem coming in 20th for the rest of my life as long as im having a good time.

However, if i can crack the code to this bicycle secret society, maybe, just maybe i will see some podium action before i cash my last check. Perhaps i can sneak my way onto future rides with the big dogs. I just have to convert my work ethic into speed somehow.

now that been said, i think i will be breaking my teeth on some mountain bike action in the forthcoming season. All that remains is:
decisions
decisions
decisions

madness has begun..

2008-11-14T22:06:00.000-08:00

and tomorrow is only day 2 of 3...

14 hours between the salon and the bike shop.

selling bikes. Oof. You should hear the lies i tell these people. "oh yeah, that 6 thousand dollar bike is just what you need to get you back into shape... what are you 230? 240? that bike was practically custom made for you!"

Sold a sweet bike that i wanted for me right out the gate today. Half bummed half stoked. Sold 2 bikes to an ex-girlfriend that i hadent seen since i was like 220 lbs and drunk 25 hours out of the day. Her mom commented that "oh yeah i barely recognize you, you! You used to be a LOT bigger. Again half bummed half stoked. Sold a 5.2 madone to a dude that is a "hard core mountain biker" that had to get permission from his wife. Half bummed half stoked....once again.

pretty draining selling bikes when you are used to wrenching on them. Special guest appearances were made by coach d, neighbor matt, bad idea lisa, young phillip, ry-g, kathy-jo and her little dog too, haoi (no idea how to spell his name, therefore, no clever nickname), and the incomparable jason keller. Big ups to those people.

At the end i felt like i was on an acid trip, and to think i only have to do it 2 more days. Here's a little something to describe my mindset at the close of the day.